Responsibility
by cag45
Summary: This story takes place approximately one year after "The Man in the White Hat" episode from season one. I do not own the rights to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and only submit this for fun.
1. Chapter 1

Daniel McFadden was mostly content with his life for the moment. He struggled with his age though, or rather his family struggled with it. He had just recently turned nineteen and felt like an adult, even though his eldest brother Adam, nearly ten years his senior was still treating him like he was a child. Adam's wife Hannah seemed sympathetic to his plight. She was constantly reminding Adam to let his younger brothers, all six of them, make some decisions for themselves, even if sometimes they were the wrong ones. It was time for Adam to at least begin to view Daniel as a man, the way he viewed his brothers' Brian and Crane as men.

It was true enough that Daniel had made more than a few boneheaded mistakes in the last year, but other times', he had shown maturity beyond his years. During Hannah's miscarriage for instance, or during roundup when Evan had gotten hurt, he stepped up to the plate and served as a man for his family when called upon to do so both times. Still, he had a lot to learn. He currently had a lot on his plate. On top of having a responsibility to his family helping run the ranch, he had formed his own band and played gigs on week nights and weekends. When he wasn't working alongside his brothers' he was either practicing or performing with the band. He really didn't have time for his third endeavor. He had recently rekindled his romance with Allison Freling.

Allison's dad had gone bankrupt and it had affected the McFadden family firsthand. Crane had been put in jail for leading a surge to remove feed from Mr. Frelings' storage building after it was seized in the Freling bankruptcy proceedings. At first, Daniel had reacted with anger and resentment towards Allison, but she wouldn't let things go. She was crazy about Daniel and she made sure that she let him know that the situation was not her fault and she meant absolutely no malice towards Daniel or his family. She had stood beside them in court to support Crane. After Crane's sentencing hearing, which led to probation and community service for pleading guilty to misdemeanor trespass, Daniel and Allison had continued to date briefly...Until Mr. Freling announced to his daughter that they were moving back east. They had no other family to speak of. Allison's mother had died years earlier and she was an only child and had never met her mothers' parents. She had no idea where they even were, her mother was estranged from them when she married Jim Freling and Jim's father had died in a plane crash and his mother died a couple years later of cancer. Allison could only vaguely remember them because she was still so young when they had passed away. So Jim had contacted his oldest and dearest friend Tom Shelton and told him about his financial situation and Tom and his wife had agreed to take them in and give them a home-temporarily- until Jim could figure out his next move. Allison and Daniel were of course heartbroken about the move, but it couldn't be helped. There was no other choice at the time. But that was nearly a year ago and a lot of things had happened in that amount of time...To both Daniel and Allison.

Shortly after the tragic letter Daniel had received from Allison, which explained to him that Jim Freling had committed suicide about nine months after moving to Boston, Allison had come back to Murphys. As she explained to Daniel, her dad's parents had that old cabin outside of town and it was her intention to come home and fix it up. She wanted nothing to do with Boston anymore. She wanted to be back home. Daniel had been sympathetic to her heartbreak and he of all people should certainly understand her loneliness. He couldn't imagine having been an only child when his parents had been killed. He had always had his brothers and now he had Hannah too. He lived in a house full of love and understanding. Allison had nobody...except Daniel. That's what was making him so nervous. They had continued to correspond by letters and a few phone calls and it was becoming evident to Daniel that Allison had intentions of just picking up where they left off. Daniel had lain awake many nights trying to sort out his own feelings. He had fallen for Allison, true enough, but he had also moved on. He hadn't clung to his feelings for her the way she had done.

The day Allison was to fly into Sonora found Daniel pensive. He had agreed to pick her up at the airport because she had asked him to and he really was looking forward to seeing her. He just didn't know how to handle her feelings towards him. Should he be up front with her? She'd been through so much, he just didn't think he could bring himself to hurt her. Besides, Daniel didn't know what his feelings were yet. It wasn't like he was seeing anybody else right now. He just didn't have time for the kind of relationship he'd come to realize that Allison was wholeheartedly expecting. He'd thought of talking to his older brothers about it, but he felt like he already knew what they'd say and he knew if he asked for their advice and then chose not to take it, that'd be a whole other problem to deal with. No, he wasn't gonna go down that road. He had to figure this out for himself.

The reunion in the airport terminal had been sweet. Allison really looked beautiful to Daniel. She had lost weight he surmized, but he should've expected that with all that she'd been through. Their embrace had stirred up some of the old feelings in Daniel. God, he thought, this feels great. Allison was back in his arms and she still loved him after all that time. He must have been an idiot to have worried all this time about seeing her. "Oh Daniel, I've missed you so much. You look great! I can't believe I'm actually here with you!" Daniel pulled back from her and said, " let me get a look at you. Aww, honey. You are still the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on! It's good to have you home!" Allison didn't hide the tears she was shedding just hearing him talk to her like that had started them flowing from her green eyes. This felt so right to her. She was in Daniel's arms...just as she'd been dreaming of since the day she and her father left Murphys. Finally, her life seemed to have meaning again. She knew for certain at that moment that she was wrapped in the arms of the man she loved.

Please feed the muse...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the month prior to Allisons' return to Murphys, Daniel, with the help of his family had worked hard making repairs to the little cabin on the edge of town that now, with the death of her father, belonged solely to Allison. It's where she had begged her father to relocate when they'd lost their home to the bankruptcy, but he had adamantly refused. He was humiliated and ashamed of his failures and couldn't stand to face anyone in Murphys. He had dragged a reluctant Allison to Boston with him. Allison had sent money to Daniel to cover the cost of the repairs. The money had come from the receptionist job she worked while in Boston. She'd tried to save every penny she earned, in the hopes that she and her father would be able to get a place of their own. Of course, it hadn't worked out that way. Jim Freling had instead taken the _coward's _way out. That's how Allison felt at least. She had actually been the one to find him. He'd put a gun in his mouth and ended it all. All he left was a short note to his daughter which read:_ Allison, I hope you can forgive me. I'm just so tired. I love you so much, but I just cannot go on. I know you won't make the mistakes that I did. You are not like me. You are like your mother and I know you will be fine._ That's it? She'd thought. He left me here all alone in the world and that's all he had to say for himself? Allison had decided in that moment, reading that note that he had been right about one thing; she was _nothing _like him, nor would she ever be. That's the moment when she'd made up her mind what she was going to do. She was not her father and she was not afraid to face anyone in Murphys. She had not been afraid to stand up to Daniel when he'd tried to just throw away their relationship because he was angry with her father. She had not been a coward then and she wasn't going to be one now. She would go back home. Murphys was home. Daniel was home. He loved her, she was sure of it. He was the answer to her happiness, she was sure of it. She would dust herself off and make Boston a thing of her past. Daniel was her future.

The homecoming had been everything she'd hope it would be. The first person she'd seen was Daniel...her Prince Charming. He would always be there for her and protect her. That's just the kind of guy he was. He was dependable, loyal and trustworthy. It didn't hurt that he was handsome, talented and hard working. All the fine qualities she found attractive in a guy. He'd never leave her they way her father had. On top of all of that, he had a wonderful, loving family. They were salt of the earth people. She'd imagined what it would be like to be a part of the McFadden clan. A real family is something she'd always dreamed of. Yes, the McFaddens' would become her family, she was sure of it. After all, Daniel loved her as much as she loved him; he did, didn't he? When she had doubts of it she would simply shake them off. She had seen her future and it was with Daniel and his family. Nothing else mattered to her.

When Daniel had brought her to the little cabin she had found herself speechless. Everything was so nice. The cabin only consisted of four rooms. The front room consisted of a living area and a small kitchen. There was a door that opened off of the kitchen area which led to a small laundry room. One of the two doors off of the living area led to the only bedroom; the other to a small bathroom. The cabin had been completely furnished and even if the furniture was old, each piece had been picked out by her grandparents, which was appealing to Allison. It was obvious that a bunch of ranchers had not made the place look so nice inside. Sure, they'd fixed plumbing issues, replaced the roof and repaired the washing machine but she _knew_ they were not the ones responsible for the housekeeping that had occured. There were new magazines that were spread out on that old coffee table. House plants in the windows. Everything had been dusted and plumped and freshened. Allison was sure she had Hannah to thank for the _woman's touch_. The sight of her beautiful little home, with fresh hand made curtains and cheerful throw rugs had made her cry. "Hey Ally, don't cry honey. The place doesn't look that bad, does it?" Daniel goaded her. She shook her head. "Oh Daniel, it's just perfect. It's absolutely perfect. You all did such a great job I don't know how I'll ever repay you guys and Hannah; you're all just so wonderful to do this for me!" Daniel grinned and nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we are pretty awesome, aren't we?" He pulled her close as she let out exasperated laughter through her tears. "Daniel, you are so full of yourself!" He smiled again and replied, "Yeah, I get that a lot," then picked her up and twirled her around the room. _Her living room_. She still couldn't believe she had this most perfect little place to call home. "I still can't believe it. I have my own kitchen, my own living room" Daniel raised his eyebrows and gave her a cocky grin. "uh huh, and your own bedroom. You want me to help you break it in?" Allison blushed a little and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "You are so bad Daniel McFadden!" He put her back down and brushed a light kiss on her cheek. "Maybe, but you didn't answer the question, did you?" "No thanks, I'm good for now." She replied. She had to admit though, if only to herself that she was seriously considering taking him up on it. He was so handsome. His big expressive eyes had always made her melt. The one and only time they had been intimate together had been her first time with any guy. He had been so gentle and loving and she _knew_ she would not regret making love to Daniel. But it just seemed a little rushed. She'd gotten the impression that he respected her for "holding out" as long as she did. She was sure she wasn't his first, but she liked to think it was something special to him. He'd put moves on her for months before she gave in to him. She didn't want to risk losing his respect now. That had happened almost a year ago and she didn't feel right about jumping into bed with him the second they were alone. _Too soon, _she'd told herself. "I'm just kidding. I knew you would tell me no, but you can't blame a guy for trying." She shook her head, still blushing. "You think you know everything, don't ya slick? Well I guess I will have to keep you guessing!" Allison grabbed his cowboy hat off his head, placed it on hers and turned on her heels and took off out the door, squealing as Daniel chased right behind her. She made it just outside the gate when his strong, capable hands grabbed her around the waist and began tickling her. She squealed again and collapsed onto the grass, taking him down with her as she went. "Stop, please Daniel, I can't stand to be tickled." He knew that of course. He'd found all her ticklish spots long ago and it was one of his favorite ways to tease and torture her. He kept it up for a minute but after much pleading from Allison he stopped and planted a kiss on her forehead. She reached up to him, putting her arms around his neck and slowly pulled his lips to hers. She wasn't sure how much time had passed nor did she care. She was in Daniels' arms and his warm, gentle kisses was once again confirming what she already knew. She loved him more than any words could say.

To be continued...

your document here...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Adam walked out of the barn and stormed up to the house. He stomped across the porch and swung open the screen door entering the living room and found Crane sitting at the piano while Guthrie and Brian sat playing a game of checkers. Ford was sitting on the couch studying for his history exam and he could hear Hannah in the kitchen humming as she finished up the dishes. "Could anyone tell me where the heck Daniel is?" Adam asked grumpily, looking around then eyes finally meeting Brians. "Ill give ya two guesses" Brian said. "Yeah and the first two don't count" Guthrie added. Hannah slipped quietly from the kitchen to stand close to Adam, placing her hand lightly on his arm. She knew her husband was pissed; knew the outburst was coming, too. "I'm asking you guys a serious question. I'm in no mood for jokes." Crane turned to face Adam, looking up from the piano. "Come on Adam, you know where he is. Where he always is these days- he's with Allison. I don't even know why you ask." Evan came in the door at that moment and reported to Adam. "Adam, I'm sorry I didn't finish mending that fence. Daniel was supposed to help me with it but he never showed up. I can ride up and finish it as soon as I get in from school tomorrow afternoon if you want me too." "What I want is for everybody do what I ask them to do when I ask them to do it!" Adam snorted. "Honey, calm down. Yelling isn't going to help the situation." "Well I wish you'd tell me what _is_ going to help the situation." Here we go, Crane thought to himself. He too, knew this was coming. "I think Danny got the tractor fixed before he left" Crane offered, hoping to score a few brownie points for his younger brother. "Yeah two days later than he promised he'd have it fixed" Brian stated, a tinge of disgust in his voice. "And that right there is the problem. He's been screwing up all week. He's not pulling his weight and it's affecting all of our work" Adam replied as he threw his hat down on coffee table before plopping down on the couch. "Have I not clearly stated the rules of this ranch? The responsibilities of this ranch come first! It's always been that way, the rules haven't changed. If you guys want to do other things I'm fine with that but only when you've _finished _your work. "Must be love" Evan offered up with a big grin as he too collapsed onto the couch next to Adam. "He's not gonna be thinking about love when I get through with him!" Adam shot back. Hannah knew it was gonna be a rough night. Adam was really worked up this time and she was pondering what she would have to do to diffuse the situation once she and Adam retired to their bedroom for the evening. The problem this time was, she really didn't feel like defending Daniel to Adam. Truth was, she agreed with him on this one. Daniel had been burning the candle at both ends for the last two weeks; ever since Allison came home. He had been shirking his duties at the ranch a lot. It was getting under her skin too. In fact, it was getting under _everyone's _skin. "You know he must have it bad to miss band rehearsal just because Allison's too scared to sit at home by herself during a thunderstorm" Ford had offered. "What?" Adam snapped. Guthrie added "Yeah, he missed band practice Monday night all because she called and told him the lightening was scaring her. Girls are so silly." Adam couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean to tell me that he is letting his band _and_ his family down at the same time over _her?" _That set Adam's temper off again. The kid put that band together himself and he was always quick to gripe and complain if any of the other members had to skip rehearsal. He'd _never _known Daniel to miss a scheduled practice in two years unless Adam himself forced him to miss because of family business. He didn't like the way this sounded at all. "I'm telling you all right now, this has to stop. Nobody and I mean nobody had better let me catch them trading off chores with Daniel. You do your own chores; no covering for him, cause if you do and I find out about it, you'll be dealing with me!" Adam could feel his blood pressure rising. His head was beginning to throb. He was too young to feel like this. "Crane, when he comes in tonight you tell him to come see me. Don't let him go to bed before he sees me. You got that?" Adam snorted. "Yeah, sure Adam. Whatever you say." Crane replied. He wasn't about to argue with Adam. Daniel had made his own mess and he'd have to be the one to clean it up as far as Crane was concerned.

to be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Daniel McFadden was a tired young man. As he navigated the road between Allison's and home he couldn't help but think about his predicament. He didn't know what exactly he'd wanted out of rekindling his relationship with Allison but he now knew what he didn't want. _This._ He was feeling pretty lousy about himself. He had let the band down and they weren't too happy about it. He'd been late for one practice, earlied out on a second one and completely missed a third one altogether...all in the last two weeks. On top of that, his work at the ranch was slipping too. He supposed Adam hadn't stopped to notice, because he hadn't said anything to him, but the rest of his brothers had not missed an opportunity to give him a hard time. He'd decided tonight though, that he was going to get back on track. Tomorrow morning he'd start fresh and everything in his life would return to normal. _Except for Allison_, he thought. He couldn't understand it. She had a job working as a waitress at the restaurant for Marie. She had plenty of girlfriends in Murphys. He just didn't get why she was so needy where he was concerned. He'd expected to go on dates and stuff, but he'd also expected that she would spend time with other people once she got settled, but that hadn't happened. She called him for every little thing. He was beginning to feel less like a serious musician and more like a handyman. His days were spent on the ranch working all day, then in the evening he would go see Allison and there was always a list of things to do around her place. By the time he'd make it to practice with the band he'd be so tired that all he'd want is to get it over with so he could go home and sleep. There was something really wrong in Daniel's world when music had become a chore and not a passion. He was going to have to sit down and have a long conversation with his girlfriend, he'd decided. He didn't know what he'd say, but he had to do it.

Crane was reading when he'd heard the front door open. _Daniel's home,_ he'd thought to himself. Ok, so finally he could pass Adam's message along and hopefully manage to stay out of it. He didn't want anything to do with this argument. He'd thought of nothing else since retiring to the room he shared with Daniel. He really wanted to talk to his younger brother but he didn't exactly know where the kids head was. Crane wasn't used to being out of sync with Daniel. They had always talked about everything. They were so close, they could finish each others sentences. But lately, there had been little interaction between them. Truth is, Daniel was never around anymore except to sleep. Crane didn't want to fight with his brother, he just wanted to let him know that he was worried about him. But Daniel...like Adam, had a quick temper and Crane knew that he had to be careful about butting in on this particular little brother's life. He was afraid Daniel would take it wrong and then a fight would be inevitable. The last thing he wanted was to tangle with Daniel right now. It was going to be bad enough when Adam got a hold of him, Crane was sure of that.

Daniel entered the bedroom quietly and shut the door behind him. He hadn't planned on turning on the light, in hopes that Crane was asleep. He'd wanted nothing more than to just crawl into his bed and pass out.

"Evening, how ya doing?" Crane's voice made Daniel jump. _Shit! He's awake._ Daniel thought to himself. He turned to flip on the light switch then looked at Crane.

"Hey, I'm tired. Ready to get some shut eye" Daniel replied.

"Ummm, not so fast kiddo. You need to go see Adam first" Crane informed him.

"It's awful late, I'll just talk to him in the morning" Daniel replied.

"Nope, I have a direct order from _dad_ that you talk to him tonight. No matter how late it is" Crane informed his little brother. There was no way Crane was going to let Daniel dodge Adam til morning. That would make everything worse.

"Do you know what it's about?" Daniel asked.

"Do you have to ask?" Crane snapped back, getting a little irritated.

"How pissed is he?" Daniel asked, dropping his head to stare at the floor.

"On a scale of one to ten? About twenty-two" Crane replied with a laugh.

"Oh har har" Daniel retorted. "What about Hannah. Think she's got my back?" Daniel asked worriedly.  
"I wouldn't count on it. I don't think _anybody _has your back on this one kid." Crane stood up and walked across the room and forced Daniel to look him in the eye.

"Hey, you have to know you've been screwing up. I'm staying out of this one. Just call me Switzerland" Crane continued, mussing Daniel's hair. Daniel turned to sit down on his bed and Crane offered "Hey, I wouldn't even take the time to take off my boots if I were you."

Daniel rolled his eyes and shot back at his big brother, "So who asked you, _Switzerland_" but he decided he'd heed his advice. He kept his boots on and stood up throwing his pillow across the room hitting Crane square in the face with it as he walked towards the door.

"Thanks for the extra pillow" Crane said as he grabbed it and put it behind his head. No sir, the kids on his own this time, Crane thought as he rolled over and pulled his covers up settling in hopefull for a good nights rest. He was a little disappointed that he wasn't able to take this opportunity to talk to Daniel about Allison. He really wanted to find out just how serious Daniel was about the girl. He also wanted to find out if the kid was being careful. After all, he's a nineteen year old boy and Crane had been there himself. He knew how it was and frankly knowing that Allison had no one at home to chaperone the two youngsters, things could very well go too far, too fast. The last thing Daniel needed right now was to get a girl in trouble. Crane hoped that Adam and Hannah would touch on that subject when they had their discussion with Danny tonight although, the thought of it made Crane shudder. Adam could be very judgemental when it came to that subject and Daniel was not a fan of being judged. Crane sincerely hoped that Hannah would be able help keep both Adam and Daniel in line if that subject came up.

to be continued...

Paste your document here...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As Daniel approached Adam's and Hannah's bedroom door, he heard their voices, talking...about him no doubt. He usually found comfort in hearing them talking together at night. It reminded him of when his parents were alive. It was sort of a comfort, somehow. But not tonight. Tonight, Daniel pondered, was not going to be pretty. He hated knowing that he had let Adam down. He'd always tried so hard to please him. The truth was, he looked up to Adam as more than a big brother. He truly was like a father to him. Adam hated it when Daniel or his brothers affectionately referred to him as _dad._ He constantly reminded them not to call him that. But that's how Daniel truly regarded him. Daniel lightly knocked on the door and heard Hannah's sweet voice say "Come in."

Daniel walked into their bedroom and found them both, leaning against their headboard, still dressed in their clothes from the day. He was a little surprised. He'd thought-make that he'd _hoped_ to find them already in bed and maybe this whole conversation could be put off til tomorrow. No such luck for Daniel. He stepped inside, shut the door and faced Adam. "Like to explain to me why you didn't finish your work here today? Evan needed help with that fence and I specifically remember asking you to help him, didn't I?"

"You did, Adam and I'm sorry for that. I honestly forgot about it and by the time I remembered, it was already dark." Daniel blushed under the scrutiny of his older brothers' glare.  
"You forgot? Well, that answers the question about the fence, but what about everything else you haven't gotten done lately? Did you forget when you asked Ford to do the dishes for you last week? Did you forget when you paid Guthrie to muck out the stables for you yesterday? I think you and I both know that your memory isn't the problem here, don't we?" Adam's voice remained low and calm but was tainted with raw emotion. Daniel could tell he was working at controlling his anger and for that, he was thankful. Hannah stepped over to Daniel, patting his shoulder affectionately before speaking.

"Daniel, you haven't been around much lately. I tried to be understanding with you that first week Allison came back, that's why I didn't say anything when you missed supper three nights in a row. I knew she needed help settling in, but Daniel, don't you think you two are spending too much time together?" Hannah studied the young mans face. She could tell he was struggling with how to answer their questions.

Look you guys. I know I've been screwing up lately and I swear to you I'm really sorry. I'm gonna do better starting right now." Daniel looked at Hannah, then at Adam. She seemed pleased with his answer, but not Adam. Daniel could see he was not in a reasonable mood right now.

"You are darned right you are gonna do better!" Adam raised his voice, nearly shouting the statement and Hannah reached out to caress the back of his neck, hoping to calm him back down.

Adam continued the onslaught. "From now on, you are not to go over to that girls' house during the week, do you understand me? I want you here for breakfast and here for dinner. You can leave to go to band practice, _if_ your other work is done. That's it. The weekend nights and Sunday are yours to do what you please, but the rest of the time you will spend tending to your responsibilities, you got that?"

"Adam" Daniel began, but Adam wasn't finished.

"And another thing," Adam continued "you _will_ come home at a decent hour. You have no business being over there all hours of the night and you'd better not be carrying on with that girl. You are too young to be getting involved like that with anybody!"

A flash of anger rushed suddenly through Daniel's body. Who did Adam think he was? He wasn't a child anymore. He couldn't tell him what he could and could not do with his free time. It wasn't any of his business what he and Allison were are were not doing.

"Adam, you can't tell me what I can and can't do!" Daniel yelled.

"The hell I can't. I just did and you _will_ do what I say, you got that?" Adam was yelling too at this point and Hannah slipped her arms around Adam's shoulders from behind and whispered in his ear.

"Adam, sshh. Calm down Honey. Lets not wake everybody up." Adam jerked free from her hold, clearly angered.

"Look Adam, I know I have responsibilities around here and I'll do them. But I'm nineteen and you cannot dictate my life for me!" Daniel shot back, eyes wild with anger.

Adam stepped towards Daniel, stepping right in front of the young man, til they were standing face to face. Adam dropped his voice down to a near whisper and through clenched teeth said to Daniel "You will do what I say, do you hear me?"

"Or what?" The words flew out of Daniel's mouth before he could even think. Crap. He couldn't take them back now. Besides, he was pissed. Adam was not going to get away with steam rolling him like this. He wasn't a kid and wasn't going to be treated like one.

"Daniel, I swear if you cross me on this, you are going to regret it." Adam stuck his finger in Daniel's chest. Hannah knew things had gone too far, but she didn't know what to do or say to either of them.

"You can't tell me what to do, Adam. You are not my father and even if you were, I'm too old to be told what to do. Now, I told you I was gonna straighten up and I will. I know what my responsibilities are around here and I know I messed up. I'm not arguing that, but you _can't_ dictate my life. I'm grown!"

"Grown?" Adam was indignant. "You say you're grown? If you were grown, we wouldn't have to have this conversation!"

"Adam!" Hannah started but Adam waived his arm behind him, imploring her to be quiet.

"You heard me, I'm grown!" Daniel spat back.

"OK, since you are grown, you don't need me to put a roof over your head. You don't need me to put food in your mouth. Is that about the size of it?" Adam was yelling again.

"You want me out? I'll get out! I'll pack my stuff and be out tonight!" Daniel shouted.

"Well enjoy your walk, because your two legs are the only transportation you own. The truck, the jeep, Rebel, they all belong here. They are part of Circle Bar Seven, if you don't want to be part of it anymore, then take your two legs and take a hike!" Hannah had never seen Adam like this before. She had seen him angry, very angry in fact, but never had he told any of his brothers to leave. She knew darned well that leaving is the last thing Adam ever wanted any of them to do. How had it gotten to this?

"Fine, I got friends. I don't need anything from you!" Daniel turned on his heel and stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him. He encountered Evan in the hallway.

"Hey, don't do it Daniel!" Evan looked at Daniel with pleading eyes. "Just let Adam cool down. You know he didn't mean it!" Oh yes, Evan had heard. The whole house had heard.

Daniel snorted, "sure sounds like he meant it to me! I'm outta here!" Daniel stomped over to the phone and dialed Allison's number. "Hey, can you drive out and pick me up? I need a place to stay for a while." Crane walked out of their room in time to hear the telephone exchange. _Oh great, this is the last thing that needed to happen, _he thought to himself. As Daniel hung up the phone Crane grabbed his younger brother by the arm.

"Hey, don't do this" Crane was begging.

"Just leave me alone, Crane." Daniel was done. Done with all of them. He was dead tired and over it. Hell, why should he stay? He didn't want to be a cow poke anyway. Without the ranch to worry about, maybe he could pour himself into his music. Allison had a good job and Daniel had money saved up from his gigs and the band had more gigs coming up. If he needed to pick up odd jobs here and there for extra cash, he'd have plenty of time for that now. Yeah, he and Allison would be just fine, he'd surmized. To hell with it. He went back to the room he shared with Crane, stuffed his clothes into a couple of duffel bags, grabbed his guitar and his sheet music and headed down the stairs and out the front door and into the night.

to be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Four days passed and no one had seen or heard from Daniel. Everyone was miserable and things were very tense around the McFadden household. Guthrie walked around looking lost. There was no music anymore after dinner. They mostly sat in silence. Adam and Crane spent their evenings working on the books. Brian went out every night, the younger boys spent their free time doing homework. Evan and Ford had been turning in early the past few nights and Hannah...well Hannah baked-a lot. They'd never seen so many cookies and cakes and pies. Crane knew she was trying to stay busy, like the rest of them. He'd tried a few times to talk to Adam, get him to open up to him but he'd flatly refused to talk about Daniel. That night Crane waited up for Brian to come in from yet another date. He'd sent Guthrie upstairs to sleep in Daniel's bed since it wasn't being used anyway. That way he could speak privately to Brian. When Brian walked in Crane was waiting on the couch.

"Hey, how was your date?" Crane asked, though he wasn't really interested in the answer. He wanted to talk about this mess they were in.  
"Ok I guess. I'm home, so it could've gone better." Brian offered with a smirk.

"You didn't happen to see Daniel tonight in town did ya?" Crane implored.

Brian groaned, "Oh yeah, I saw him alright. The band was playing tonight at Pony's. I tried to talk to him, but he so damned stubborn. I didn't get anywhere with him. Hell, I thought I was the hot head in this family."

"You are the hot head in this family" Crane replied.

"Oh really, you think? Dan'l told me to get lost as soon as I brought up the subject of Adam. I swear I nearly cleaned his clock right there in front of God and everybody!" Brian spat.

"Uh huh. Like I said. You _are _the hot head." Crane laughed.

"Well guess who's running a close second. The kids being a real jerk" Brian stated flatly.

"They both are Brian, that's why we gotta be the ones to fix it this time. So, did he seem ok otherwise?"

"I don't know. He seemed...different. Distant, you know? Like the weight of the world is on his shoulders." Brian looked at Crane and it was easy to see the pain in his eyes.

"Yeah, I think I do. He's never been on his own before and I don't think it was in his plan. Just kinda happened. That McFadden pride got the better of him." Crane offered thoughtfully.

"Pride got the better of them both. Adam didn't want him to leave either. You know that, Crane. The kid just tested him, from what I heard." Brian offered.

"They tested each other is more like it. Irregardless, we gotta fix it somehow. So my question to you is, which one do you want to work on?" Crane asked Brian as he got up and made his way to the kitchen. "Coffee?" He offered to Brian.

"Nah, that stuff keeps me up. I can't talk to Dan'l. I'd rather talk to him, but I crashed and burned with him tonight. Guess that means I got the big man," Brian said referring of course, to Adam.

"Guess you do. I'll ride out to the cabin and talk to Daniel tomorrow. It's Saturday, so maybe I'll catch him there. I don't want to call and let him know that I'm coming. He may try to dodge me if I do that." Crane said thoughtfully.

"Ok, I will talk to Adam while you're gone. I may talk to Hannah first, though." Brian offered.

"You're just chicken!" Crane laughed but added, "That's probably a good idea. Get the temperature of the water before you dive in."

"Yep, you got it partner. Well, I'm turning in. See ya in the morning little brother." Brian patted Crane on the back as he left the kitchen and headed to bed. Crane sat nursing his cup of coffee. _I pray to God that kids ready to listento me_ Crane thought as he considered what he may say to Daniel.

Daniel wasn't exactly living in Heaven these days. In fact, he felt just lousy about everything. He'd been sleeping on Allison's couch the last four nights and fact of the matter was, he missed home. He missed his brothers...even Adam, he missed Hannah's cooking, his own bed. He missed his life. How had he screwed things up so badly. All he'd intended to do that night was to apologize to Adam and Hannah, then get some much needed sleep. How had it even got to the point that it did? Daniel pondered as he walked into the cabin. Allison was sitting up waiting for him-nothing unusual there. She had been smothering him since he moved in-no make that, since she moved back to Murphys.

"How did it go at the bar?" Allison asked, referring to the gig Daniel was returning home from.

"Fine, we had the usual Friday night crowd. Too bad you had to miss it." Daniel offered.

"I know, I wanted to be there but it was so busy at the restaurant, I couldn't turn Marie down about working over tonight." Allison walked over to him, put her arms around his neck and brought his lips down to hers. The kiss was quick. Not much passion in it, she thought to herself as she backed away to sit back down on the couch.

"You want something to eat? I brought home leftovers." Allison pointed to a plate on the kitchen counter.

"Nah, thanks. I ate already." Daniel sat down next to her and sighed, then slipped an arm around her. "How was work anyway?" He asked her.

"Oh, it was fine. I got some pretty good tips tonight. Did you get paid?" she asked him as she put her head on his shoulder.

"Yep and we're playing there again next week, too." Daniel smiled at her, obviously pleased about it.

"That's great Daniel! We can probably get us a TV soon." She said to him as she fooled with the buttons on his shirt playfully.

We?

Daniel swallowed hard and fidgeted on the couch a little. "Uh, yeah... sure." He had no intention of buying stuff with her. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do long-term. He wasn't sure he was ready to set up permanent housekeeping with her. What should he say? He had to agree, right now anyways. He needed to stay there. If he made her mad or hurt her feelings, she might fly off the handle and send him packing like Adam did. His thoughts made him sick to his stomach. He was using her. He hated to feel like that. But the thought of crawling back to Adam bothered him more. He shouldn't have to crawl back to him anyways. That ranch was _his_ birthright, same as Adams anyway. He had every right to be there. But he didn't want to be, not under Adam's terms. He just needed to sort things out in his head. "I think I'm gonna turn in ok?" He whispered as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Ok, sure. I'm tired too. You want to sleep in my room with me?" Allison asked playfully.

"No thanks, the couch is fine." Daniel answered nervously.

"You know Daniel, it's the next logical step. I mean we are a couple and now...we're co-habitating so I don't see what the big deal is. In fact, I saw Dr. Mayer today and he prescribed me..."

"Wait a minute!" Daniel leaped off the couch and stood in front of Allison. "I haven't pressured you about doing anything like that! Sweetie, me and Adam had a fight and I needed a place to stay, that's all this is!" Daniel's eyes were wide when she looked into them. She hadn't expected this reaction.

"Daniel, it's ok. I know you aren't pressuring me, it just makes sense. We are on our own now, but we aren't ready for any added responsibility. I was just looking out for us! Don't you see?" Allison began to cry and Daniel knew this conversation had to happen whether he wanted to have it or not.

"Allison, look at me" Daniel spoke softly as he put his hands lightly on her shoulders. "You are precious to me. You have been great and I think the world of you but we are not co-habitating exactly." Daniel was fumbling his words, he didn't know how he wanted to say things. He wanted more time to think.

"Then just what are we doing, Daniel? You tell me, because right now I don't understand this." Allison's voice was shaking.

"Honey, that's just it. I don't know what I'm doing. I miss my family and I miss my home. I miss my horse and I just, I just...have to figure out what I want exactly. Try to understand" Daniel pleaded.

"Well, I guess you don't want me! That's what you're really trying to say isn't it?" Allison was sobbing at this point.

"That's not what I'm saying. I just want to slow down a little...a lot actually. Honey, we have plenty of time to see where this relationship goes. Let's just take it one day at a time." Daniel pleaded. "Ally, just calm down ok? Don't cry. The last thing I ever wanna do is make you cry." He put his finger under her chin and she looked him in the eyes. "Listen, I really care for you, you know that. It's just all happening too fast, ok? You understand?" Daniel looked at her trying to calm and reassure her with his words.

"Yeah, I guess I do." She replied. Trouble was, she wasn't sure she did understand him. All of a sudden, she felt as though she didn't understand anything anymore.

Daniel wrapped his arms around her and guided her to her room. "Get some sleep, we can talk more about this tomorrow" he whispered softly and pulled her face to his and gently kissed her.

Later, on the couch Daniel's mind was swirling with all kinds of thoughts. How had everything gotten so complicated in two and a half weeks? He was kicked out of his home, his girlfriend was going on birth control and they weren't even sleeping together. How had he gotten in this mess? Daniel wanted so badly to turn off his brain and sleep, but he couldn't. He laid there for hours thinking. Trouble was, no answers were coming to him. Only more questions...

To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

Pa

Chapter 7

Crane took the package Hannah made up for Daniel and walked out to the jeep. He felt that he was as ready as he'd ever be to talk to his younger brother. He usually was able to talk sense into the boy, but things had never been quite this strained between any of them before. He knew Adam was the key. Brian just had to get through to Adam before this situation could be resolved.

Crane drove up to the cabin and switched off the engine. Daniel was sitting on the front steps. He looked up to see his brother walking towards him. "Hey," Daniel greeted him as he stood up to greet Crane. He reached out and gave him a quick hug. Crane thought how good it felt to feel Daniel in his arms, even if it was quick.

"How ya doing kid?" Crane asked as he let his little brother go. He handed Daniel the package and indicated that it was from Hannah. Daniel looked in the box.

"Cherry pie! My favorite..." he exclaimed. "That Hannah, she's a jewel, huh?"  
"Yeah well, we have a dozen more on the kitchen counter so...I guess she thought we could spare a couple..." Crane chuckled as he spoke.

"Huh?" Daniel asked confused.

"Lets just say Hannah's been baking her troubles away." Crane shrugged his shoulders as Daniel studied him.

"Am I her trouble?" Daniel asked.

"Guess so...you and that husband of hers." Crane stated with another nervous laugh. "So, you alone?" Crane continued.

"Yeah, Allison's working, so...it's just me and the birds here." Daniel kicked at the dirt with his boot and shifted uncomfortably in the yard.

"Can we talk, then?" Crane asked hopefully.

"Sure, we can talk. Come on inside. You want something to drink? A beer maybe?" Daniel offered.

"Sounds good, thanks." Crane watched as Daniel took a couple of beers out of the small refrigerator and handed one to him. "So, are you happy here?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Daniel answered testily.

"Oh, I don't know. The fact that you look completely miserable just made me ask." Crane answered. Daniel avoided eye contact with Crane as he took a swig of his beer. "Tell me I'm wrong." Crane added, suddenly finding the guts to really get this conversation started. Daniel flashed an angry glance in Crane's direction, but when there eyes met, his look softened.

"I guess I'm not really thrilled about all of this. Crane he just makes me so mad sometimes. I...I just can't think straight when he starts yelling. He's so damned judgemental. He needs to realize that I'm not a kid anymore!"

"I know, I know. But Danny, he still treats me and Brian like we're kids at times too. You've seen him. Hey, cut him some slack. He's twenty eight years old and has teenagers calling him dad. He's due a few mistakes, dontcha think?" Crane studied Daniel's eyes. He thought he saw some regret there, but he still saw stubborness too.

"Look, I just want a little respect. I happen to think I've earned it. I mean, I work hard. I just slipped a little. Aren't I due a few mistakes too Crane? Can't he cut me a little slack?" Daniel took another big swig and slammed the beer down as he plopped down onto Allison's couch. Crane sat down beside him, patting Daniel reassuringly on the knee.

"Actually Daniel, I think he did. If you look back, you got away with a lot of crap for two weeks before he snapped." Crane hoped this wouldn't smart too bad. He didn't want to set the boy off again. When Daniel looked up, Crane saw the tears forming in the kids eyes. "Hey, it's ok. We all make mistakes Daniel. We learn from them and we move on, ya know?"

Daniel didn't speak for a minute, he nodded his head acknowleding to Crane that he understood him.

"Why don't we go see Adam? I think you two need to talk." Crane was hopeful Daniel would let go of his pride and agree.

"I can't. It's not that simple Crane." Daniel was sounding more like a little boy now. Crane could see he was hurting but he was beginning to think Daniel wasn't just talking about Adam.

"Tell me why Danny? What exactly is eating you?" Crane placed his hand on the back of Daniel's neck, giving him an affectionate squeeze, but leaving his hand there hoping to bring comfort to his brother.

"I don't know what to do about Allison. She's just...she's got the wrong idea, I think." Daniel picked up the beer and finished it off.

"You might wanna slow down, a fuzzy brain isn't going to help solve anything. Just tell me about it Daniel. I'm here to listen." Crane waited for his brother to regain a little composure.

"At first, I thought we'd be ok. It was good to have her home and I'm attracted to her and I care about her, I do. But Crane, I think she only came back here to be with me. She doesn't see her old friends or hang out with the girls she works with. It's like...she's playing house or something...Like she wants us to be some old married couple." Daniel was getting worked up all over again.

"Have you told her how you feel, Danny? People can't always read your mind you know. Have you talked to her about what you want?" Crane asked.

"I tried to last night. She got upset...started crying. It's just that, I don't know exactly what I do want, I just know I don't want to settle down right now. All I've ever wanted is to get out of Murphys. I want to be a musician. I want to travel. Even though I've always known Adam wanted me to stay here and settle down, the thought of it just depressed me. Now Allison wants me to stay here and settle down too..._with her!_"

"Um, have you done anything to lead her on Daniel? I mean, are you two..." Daniel cut Crane off.

"No!" He shouted emphatically. "I haven't touched her. I swear it!" Daniel yelled.

"Ok, ok. Take it easy. I just asked." Crane tried to make a joke to soothe the tension back in Daniel's face. "I'm glad you are protecting your virtue." He laughed.

"Crane, none of this is funny. I don't know what I'm gonna do about her. I care about her so much and I don't want to hurt her but...I don't think I can give her what she wants. She's seems so fragile. She's been through so much in the past year. She's been really hurt. I don't want to make it worse." Daniel looked at Crane, his eyes pleading for some direction from him.

"Not being honest with her is gonna hurt her more in the long run Daniel. You have to know that." Crane said, feeling bad for the kid. His instincts had told him that Allison was more serious about Daniel than he was for her, but he hadn't had any time to talk to Daniel about it before now. "Why don't you go back to the ranch with me? Thank Hannah in person for the pies? You don't have to make any decisions now. Just talk to Adam. I think you'll both feel better. I'll bring you back here afterwards, if that's what you want." Crane braced for the answer.

"Ok, let me just grab one more beer." Daniel jumped up and grabbed another can from the refrigerator, then followed Crane out the front door.

"Nothing like a little courage in a can!" Crane said as he looked over his shoulder at Daniel laughing as they walked to the jeep.

to be continued...

ste your document here...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Brian waited until Crane left the house then he stepped back into the kitchen where Hannah was clearing the breakfast dishes. He studied her for a minute. He could tell she was still worrying. She sure acted more like a mother to the boys, rather than a sister.

"Need any help Hannah?" Brian asked. He walked on in and started clearing the table with her.

"Thanks Brian. Did you know that Crane's going out to see Daniel today?" Hannah asked.

"Uh, yeah he told me. He wants me to talk to Adam. I thought I'd speak to you first." Brian replied.

"I think maybe he's ready to listen. He's definately worried about Daniel. Did you happen to see him when you were out last night?" Hannah looked at him hopefully.

"Yeah, he's still being pretty stubborn though." Brian sighed.

"Well, I'm hoping that Crane can get through to him. You guys have to know that Adam never wanted him to leave, he doesn't want any of you to leave-EVER in fact." Hannah studied Brian. She could see the worry creasing his brow.

"Yeah Hannah, I know. It's just that...well Adam has got to realize that Dan'ls at that tough age. He's gonna have to learn to keep his temper in check. He's got three more coming up that's gonna go through the same thing. I just hate to see this kind of thing repeating itself." Brian said emphatically.

"You and me both Brian. I don't believe I could take many more confrontations like the ones those two have had." Hannah replied.

"Yeah, well...maybe the rest of them won't be too bad. Part of the problem is that Dan'l is so much like Adam. They are both so stubborn and they speak before they think. Evan may be a bit of a problem, but I can't imagine Ford or Guthrie... well, lets just say that I hope ol' Adam will soften up by then." Brian said with a laugh.

"I'm hoping the same thing Brian, believe me I am!" Hannah reached up and gave Brian a peck on the cheek. "Go on then, you have a big brother to talk to." She smiled reassuringly as she guided him out the door of the mudroom. Good luck!" she called out behind him as he made his way out to the barn...

There he was. Putting his tack onto his horse. Adam had been so quiet since the fight between him and Daniel. Brian didn't know exactly where his head was. He'd hoped Hannah was right about him being ready to talk about it. "Where you headed?" Brian inquired.

"Figured I'd ride up and check on that fence. Evan and Ford said they finished it. Thought I'd just look it over." Adam turned to look at Brian. He knew it was coming. He didn't know if it'd be Brian or Crane, but, he still _knew_ it was coming. "You got something on your mind Bri?" Adam asked him.

"Well, yeah. Mind if I ride along?" Brian asked, already retrieving his tack from it's resting place and putting it on his own horse.

"Suit yourself." Adam replied over his shoulder, as he again was paying attention to getting his horse saddled.

Brian saddled up and off they went. They hadn't ridden too far before Brian began. "So, Crane went out to see Daniel a little bit ago."

"Yeah, I thought that may be where he was heading off too...Guess that means you drew the short straw then?" Adam asked Brian which resulted in a small chuckle from Brian.

"Something like that. So, you cooled off any?" Brian asked, chewing on a piece of straw and avoiding eye contact with Adam. He wanted to act as nonchallant as possible.

"Brian, I wasn't wrong!" Adam shot him a quick look then continued. "I just can't let them get away with that kind of stuff. You know that. He'd been pulling the crap for two weeks! Enough was enough."

"True, but don't you think giving him an ultimatum was a bad move? You should have known he'd go running to her." Brian scoffed.

"It's not like I planned it Brian!" Adam shot back. "Hey look, I shouldn't have tried to ground him...I made a mistake there. But he has to learn to take responsibility for his actions. I can't let them run around doing what they want whenever they want." Adam sighed. "Ah, hell. Brian, I am sorry for what I said. I want the kid home as badly as the rest of ya. But he's gotta come to me. I'm not going to cave this time. The others are looking up to me and I have to stand firm. That's _my _responsibility."

Brian considered Adam's words carefully. He finally spoke. "I guess you're right, Adam. Just, go easy on him if he does come to you. He's got a temper and...if you ask me, I think that girl is pushing herself on him. I really don't think he's as serious as she is." Brian said.

"He needs to straighten that out with her. I didn't like what I saw that first night she was back. I could see it in her eyes Brian. She's got her sights on him. Did you see her at the dinner table that first night? All starry eyed and hanging on him. They hadn't even seen each other for a year. Daniel acted like he didn't have a clue. I should've said something from the start." Adam sighed, heavily this time.

"Well, it's like Dan'l said. He's grown now. He's gonna have to learn how to deal with his personal relationships himself. He can't expect his big brothers to do that _for _him." Brian studied Adam for a minute then added, "There's only so much a dad can do for their kid."

"I'm _not_ his dad Brian." Adam said flatly.

"Yeah, you are." Brian retorted. "But all you can do is give him the best advice you know to give. He's gotta handle it himself from there." Brian figured his work here was done. He dug his heels into his horse's side and rode off ahead of his big brother.

Adam just sat there for a minute. What would he say to Daniel? What could he say? He wasn't sure, but he sure hoped he would get the chance to at least try talking to him. He hoped Daniel understood how much he loved him...how much they all loved him. Would love be enough to get their relationship back on the right track? Adam thought to himself as he prodded his horse on to follow Brian.

to be continued...


	9. Chapter 9

The ride back to the ranch from Allison's place was about twenty minutes. To Crane, it felt like an eternity. He looked across the jeep and studied Daniel. It wasn't hard to tell the kid was nervous as hell. Crane was afraid if he didn't get him there soon, he might actually jump out of the open jeep and take off. Daniel on the other hand, found the twenty minute ride to be incredibly quick. He'd polished off the second beer just as Crane navigated the long, narrow driveway, passing underneath the Circle Bar Seven sign. Daniel felt as though his heart was going to jump out of his chest. It was pounding so hard and his palms were sweating. He felt for a moment like he may hyperventilate. As Crane pulled the jeep in front of the big white house and switched off the engine, Daniel's guts turned and he realized that he may actually throw up.

"Hey, it's ok Daniel" Crane reached over to give him an affectionate pat on the knee. "You just sit here for a minute. I wanna see Brian first. Just sit here and think about what you want to say." At that moment, Brian and Hannah stepped out of the house and onto the porch. Crane stared at Brian for a minute. When Brian met his gaze, he licked his thumb and gave his all too familiar thumbs up sign which indicated to Crane that the talk with Adam had gone well. Seeing that, Crane stepped back over to the jeep and said to Daniel "come on, get out. Let's get this over with."

Crane watched as his little brother crawled slowly out of the jeep. When he stood up, his shoulders were uncharacteristically hunched over and Daniel was staring at the top of his boots. Hannah broke the ice. "Hey there, stranger!" She directed her comment to Daniel. Daniel slowly looked up and gave her a bashful waive.

"Hi Hannah" then "thanks for the pies." He stated nervously.

"You are welcome. I was thinking of you when I made them" she replied with a smile.

"All fifty of them" Brian chided her, poking her in the side with his elbow.

"I think Daniel is looking for Adam, aren't you?" Crane said, looking sideways at Daniel. The kid gave him a go to hell look but finally answered.

"Uh, yeah...is he around?" Daniel asked.

"He's in the barn Dan'l. Go on out." Brian stated.

"OK...Hey Bri. Sorry about last night ok? I was kind of a jerk." Daniel once again dropped his head to stare at his boots.

"Don't even worry about it parnter" was Brian's reply. "Just go see big brother, ok?"

"Yeah right...ok then." Daniel moved slowly toward the barn. There went his heart again. He was almost positive that if anyone were around they could hear it beating. His knees were weak and yep, more nausea. Daniel walked through the barn doors and as his eyes adjusted to the dimmer light, he saw Adam, brushing down his horse. Daniel immediately froze. Adam had his back to him and Daniel was glad in that moment. He didn't feel like he was ready for this. Some of the things Adam had said that night began to resurface and once again, Daniel got irritated. He didn't like feeling uncomfortable in his own home. He shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable. He fought with his brothers all the time. He knew though, that this was no ordinary fight and they had to talk it out. Daniel looked around and saw Rebel in his stall. He eased over and began patting his neck. Rebel responded by nuzzling Daniel's face. "Hey there boy. I've missed you. How ya doing?" Daniel whispered to his precious horse. He'd wished he had a cube of sugar in his pocket, or an apple...anything to treat Rebel. Let him know he was sorry for being away so long.

Adam looked over and saw his little brother standing in front of Rebel's stall. God it was good to see him, Adam thought to himself. He'd wanted to run over and pick him up and give him a big bear hug, like he did when he was a little boy. But he wasn't a little boy anymore. "Grown." Yep, that was the word Daniel used. Adam figured he'd best treat him like he was grown in this moment. He didn't want to set his temper off, like he'd done the other night. He slowly walked over and stood behind Daniel.

Daniel didn't realize anyone was standing behind him until he felt the hand grasp his shoulder. He turned around slowly and realized he was standing face to face...again, with Adam.

"Hey there Danny." Adam spoke first. Daniel tried to keep his gaze, but he couldn't do it. He dropped his eyes and started kicking the dirt beneath his boots.

"Hey Adam." That was all Daniel could squeak out.

"You ok kid? I mean, you been taking care of yourself?" Adam asked. He was having just as hard of a time looking at Daniel.

"Uh huh. Sure, I'm good. Didn't realize how much I missed Rebel here." Daniel motioned his hand toward his horse.

"Yeah, I believe he's missed you too. I'm sure he's glad to see you." Then he softly added "I know I am."

"I'm glad to see him too." Daniel's voice was a barely audible whisper. He tried to tell Adam he missed him too, but found himself choking on the words. He coughed and tried to clear his throat. He could feel tears welling up and his throat was burning. _God, he thought. Not now. Please God, not now!_ He turned back toward Rebel, ran his sleeve across his face in one quick motion hoping to soak up any tears, then turned back to face Adam, this time looking him dead in the eyes. "Adam, I shouldn't have yelled at you the other night. I...I was tired...I know it was...it was disrespectful. Sometimes I just lose it, you know? Daniel swallowed hard, not knowing what Adam would say.

"Yeah, I know. I guess I suffer from the same affliction Daniel." Adam's voice was soft. There was no anger or hostility in it. Just love for his kid brother.

"I uh...I rode out with Crane. I was hoping to see you and...I just...well...I just wanted to see if we were ok." Daniel was tripping over his words.

"Yeah, Danny listen... about the other night. I had no right to ground you. I realize you are over eighteen. I just lost my temper. To be honest, I was worried about you." Adam began, then wondered if he was saying too much. "It's just that...Well I was worried about you and Allison. I mean, the fact that she was taking up so much of your time. I just...I didn't get any indication from you when I saw y'all together that things were that serious...at least as far as you were concerned. So, I was a little bothered by the fact that you were spending so much time with her." Adam grimaced a little hearing himself talk. If things were gonna go south, they'd surely go south now.

"Adam, I'm really trying to sort all of that out. I just don't think I can hurt her right now. She's had it hard since her dad died...since he killed himself, I mean. That's gotta be pretty hard on a person, don't ya think?" Daniel replied.

Adam felt a sense of relief wash over him...he felt something else too. Pride. He was proud of his little brother. He admired that about Daniel. He'd always cared so darned much for other people. He held their feelings in high regard. That was a special quality in a kid...no, in a man, Adam thought to himself.

"Look, I can see you're in a bad position with her. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes. I'm afraid you are going to have to listen to your own heart...Do what it tells you. The way I see it, you've got pretty good instincts. You'll figure out what to do on your own." Adam sighed. He was being honest. He didn't have an answer for him.

"Thanks Adam. I appreciate the advice." Daniel said.

"No problem kiddo. So, what's your next move. You coming home where you belong?" Adam asked.

"That's kind of tricky. I have to talk to Allison first. She kind of has the notion that we are an actual couple and are actually living together." Daniel stated, once again staring down at the top of his boots.

"Look, I don't want to get in your private business too much, but I hope you two are being careful..." Daniel cut off Adam's words.

"Adam please. Gosh does this whole family think I'm an animal? I'm not gonna discuss the details with you Adam, but give me some credit. You raised me right didn't you? You raised me to respect women. Now just trust me when I tell you that I've been listening to you all these years, ok?" Daniel was trying to be mindful of the tone of his voice. He didn't want another world war to break out with Adam. They hadn't even run the truce flag all the way up the flagpole yet.

"Ok, ok I get it Danny. By the way, thanks for listening to me all those years." Adam smiled at his little brother. He opened his arms and pulled Daniel into his chest. "Oh God I've missed you kid." Adam felt the tears welling up in his own eyes. As Daniel pulled back from Adam's embrace, Adam cupped his face with both hands and said, "Hey, you wanna go inside and have some pie...or cake...or cookies...or brownies? You name it, we got it!" Adam chuckled at his own humor.

"Sure" Daniel answered and they stepped out of the barn and walked slowly together, Adam's arm wrapped around Daniel's shoulders as they made their way towards the house.

to be continued...


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Since Allison had worked two hours over Friday night, Marie allowed her to take off two hours early from her Saturday shift. Allison was anxious to get home. She wasn't sure what was going on in Daniels' head, but he was acting funny. She couldn't imagine what she'd done wrong, but she needed to find out. Soon. Her nerves were frazzled. When she got home, she was surprised to find the door locked. She fumbled through her purse to find her house key and accidentally dropped her purse, it's contents spilling onto the ground. Allison bent down to gather her things. That's when she saw all the prescription bottles laying on the ground. Had she taken her medication today? Did she take it yesterday? She couldn't remember. She hurriedly picked them up and stuffed them back into her purse. She didn't want Daniel to see them.

In fact, Daniel was the reason that she was walking around with all those bottles in her purse. The night he'd called her and said he'd needed a place to stay, her heart lept into her throat. She'd raked all the neatly arranged bottles out of the medicine cabinet and into her purse. She couldn't let him see them. He'd be sharing that bathroom with her now and she couldn't take the chance of him going in there and finding them. She didn't want him to think that she was weak like her father. She hadn't exactly been honest with Daniel about the rough time she'd had after finding her father dead. The truth was, not long afterwards, she'd been hospitalized for a couple of weeks. For the first week of her stay, there had even been talk of institutionalizing her. The psychiatrists' on her case had called it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She was treated with a host of medications for Anxiety, Depression and Insomnia. Allison could remember how alone she'd felt. She'd had frequent panic attacks for weeks following her fathers' suicide. If she found herself alone for more than an hour, she would have one of those horrible attacks. She'd felt like she was going to die. She'd become so depressed, there were moments when she had wanted to die. The only person in the world that she felt she had was Daniel.

The use of the antidepressants had actually started shortly after they'd moved from Murphys to Boston. She was heartbroken to leave him. She loved him and her heart ached for him every minute of every day. Shortly after seeing Dr. Randall, her psychiatrist in Boston, she'd been put on the medication and slowly had been drawn out of that depression. The doctor had even given her a job in his office as his receptionist. Slowly, she got better. She realized when the letters and phone calls from Daniel had become fewer and farther between that he had moved on. She realized that she would have to do the same. Slowly, she did. She was finally feeling strong again. Her mood was much better and she felt that she finally had a new lease on life...Then, her father put that gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. A few short lines scrawled on a piece of notebook paper to Allison was all he'd left behind. She'd called Daniel. She couldn't remember too much of their conversation but one thing he'd said stuck with her. "I love you Allison. I'll always be her for you!"

Everything after that was a blur. The panic attacks had started. Trips to the Emergency Room. Inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment...It had all run together in her mind. But, she'd been strong enough to make it through all of that. Even though her psychiatrist/boss had warned her that her therapy needed to continue, she'd told him she was fine and she had to go back to California. She'd lied and told him that her boyfriend was there and he'd known all about her condition. She'd requested her records be copied for her to take with her because her boyfriend was waiting there to take care of her and he'd had her a new doctor lined up in Sonora. It had worked like a charm. Dr. Randall had bought every single lie she'd told him. He had written out ninety day prescriptions to control her anxiety, depression and insomnia. He'd stressed to her that she needed to make sure and take them exactly as prescribed and to start therapy immediately upon her return to California. She'd thanked him and promised to do just that.

The truth was, Allison had intended to find a psychiatrist as soon as she'd gotten home, but as soon as she'd laid eyes on Daniel, she'd convinced herself that she'd never felt happier or more stable in her entire life. She hadn't realized that it had actually been the right combination of prescription medications that was actually making her feel normal again. She'd continued to take it as prescribed and decided that once it ran out, she'd be fine. After all, she had her life in order. She wasn't alone anymore. There was nothing to be afraid of. She was with Daniel.

But now she wasn't feeling normal. She was scared and confused. She was worried about the way Daniel had been acting, especially since he'd moved in with her. Her routine had been disturbed. She'd had to hide the medications from him and quickly lost track of what pills she'd taken at what time. She'd tried to count the pills in the bottle in an effort to remember if she'd taken the correct dose of each one, but she'd given up on trying to keep up with it. She didn't have time for it anyways. She was always fearful of Daniel walking in and catching her with the medications spread out across her bed. When she remembered to take them...she did.

She unlocked the door and hurried inside. "Daniel?" She called for him. "Why did you lock the door? "Daniel!" She yelled his name louder. She hurried through the cabin, looking for him in each room. She ran back outside and around to the back yard, but found it empty. Her head started to spin. Her knees got weak and she began to feel that familiar throbbing in her chest. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. _Oh God! Where is he? He's left me...He must've gone back home._ She rushed back into the house and opened the bureau that she had put his clothes in. They were still there. His duffels were still in the closet. _Where could he be? _The room began to spin. She desperately tried to remember what she'd been told to do whenever she had a panic attack. She sat down, put her head down between her knees and tried her best to take slow, deep breaths.

After about fifteen minutes of sheer agony, Allisons' breaths were coming much slower and easier. She reached into her purse and found the prescription of Valium. She couldn't remember taking it today. She'd decided it would be a good idea to take two, to make up for her missed dose. That was probably why she'd had the panic attack. She got up to get some water. Crap, what's wrong with the water? She turned it on but nothing came out of the faucet. She went into the fridge to grab the milk. The jug was empty. Allison became irritated. She grabbed one of Daniel's beers and popped off the lid, put the pills on her tonge and took a big swig. She laid down on the couch and stared at the front door. _Where is he? How could he leave me here by myself? Doesn't he realize by now that I don't like to be alone? He must know that. He has to see how much happier I've been since he started living with me...How could he just leave me here._ She buried her head into the couch cushion and began to sob.

to be continued...


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It had been a little past five thirty when Daniel and Brian finished up with the tractor. They made their way to the house to wash up. Daniel was starving. The coffee and dessert had not stuck with him and he was looking forward to Hannah's cooking. Nothing Marie served at the restaurant could touch his sister-n-law's fare. He'd forgotten all about calling Allison. It had slipped his mind.

They all sat down to dinner together and raucous laughter could again be heard throughout the house. Daniel took his spot at the table on the end, just to the right of Ford. Adam sat beside him to the left, at the head of the table and Brian sat directly across from him. Daniel felt content in that moment. He hadn't realized just how much he'd actually missed little things like sitting down to dinner and all the familiarity that surrounded him. Everyone was talking at the same time, laughing and making jokes, which continued until, half way through the meal, the phone rang. Adam, being closest to it, rose and answered.

"Hello? Hello? I'm sorry, can you speak up please? Oh, yeah he's here. Hang on just a second. Daniel...it's for you" Adam said, holding the receiver in Daniel's direction and casting a worried look towards Hannah.

Crap!

Daniel realized in an instant who was on the phone. Allison...he'd forgotten to call her. He winced a little at Adam's stare then stood up to take the phone. He hesitated, glancing back over his shoulder at his family who had all grown quiet and was now staring at him. "Uh, Adam...I'm gonna take it upstairs, ok?"

"Sure" was Adam's short reply. Adam looked quietly at the family. Evan and Ford seemed disgusted. Guthrie was moping already, stirring his mashed potatos around on his plate. Brian looked somber and Crane...well he looked worried. Hannah sat quietly, staring down at her plate. Everyone had reacted negatively to the intrusive phone call. Adam waited quietly until Daniel spoke into the phone.

"I got it Adam, thanks." Adam placed the receiver back on the hook and took his place calmly back at the head of the table.

"Hello Ally?" Daniel answered. then offered, "I'm so sorry. I completely forgot to call you. I got busy here at the ranch. Brian needed help fixing the tractor and...

Allison cut off his words. "Daniel how could you just leave like that! I've been so worried. Don't ever do that again!" She cried out hysterically.

Daniel was taken aback. He felt like he'd been suddenly punched in the gut. He thought her _how could you _question was a bit dramatic. He'd just come out to see his family, after all. He didn't expect to have to check in and out with her. Then as he thought about it he realized the truth. That's what _she _expected of him. That's what had been bugging him ever since she'd returned to Murphys. She'd been treating like he was at her beck and call. That's why his brothers had given him so much grief. He got a little irritated.

"Look, Allison. I don't think I've done anything wrong. I shouldn't have to tell you where I am every minute of the day and I don't expect you to do that either. Just chill out a little."

"Chill out? You want me to chill out? Daniel, I've been worried sick about you and that's all you've got to say to me?" she answered him indignantly.

"Wait a minute..." Daniel began, then he stopped. Something was wrong. Allison sounded funny. Her words were kind of sloppy and slurred. A thought occurred to Daniel and he asked "Allison, are you drinking?"

"No...Look I had a beer that's all. I've just been so upset. Please don't be mad at me Daniel. I'm sorry, I just want you to come home." She cried.

I am home,

he thought to himself, but instead he said "Look, I know you must be tired. You worked a long shift last night, then turned around and went back to work this morning, why don't you take a nap? That beer will relax you. I'll have Crane drive me back a little later...say around nine?"

"I can come pick you up!" Allison spat out excitedly.

"No, you don't sound like you're in any shape to drive. You aren't used to drinking. You sound a little buzzed already. Just take a nap and I promise, I'll wake you up when I get there." Daniel offered. "I'm gonna get off the phone. I'll see ya tonight, Ok?" He asked.

"Ok, I love you Daniel" Allison answered.

Daniel gulped. He could hear Adam's and Crane's advice about not leading her on and he hesitated on how to respond to that. "Ok, sweetie, I'll see in a little while." He gently replaced the receiver onto the hook and gingerly walked back down the stairs to finish dinner.

As he rejoined his family, Daniel noticed how everyone of them were noticeably quieter than before. He apologized by saying "sorry about that guys, what's for dessert?" Everybody chuckled and looked at Hannah. With the exception of Daniel, she had burnt them all out on dessert for a while.

Allison hung up the phone and reached for her sleeping pills. Daniel told her to take a nap. That sounded like a good idea. She was upset and she didn't want to think anymore. Daniel promised he'd be home in a few hours. She just needed to sleep until he got there. She popped two into her mouth, hoping that taking twice the dosage would help her fall asleep faster. She saw the Valium prescription next to the sleeping pills. She thought she should take one of those, too. That would help settle her nerves. Or, had she already taken some? No, she was almost positive that she hadn't. She's supposed to take three a day? She couldn't remember taking any at all, so she rationalized she could take two now. She put the pills on her tongue and picked up the beer and took another swig to help down them. She lay there on the couch thinking. All she wanted to do was sleep. She felt groggy, but she couldn't quite get to sleep. She decided to finish the beer and then go stretch out on her bed. She finished it and got up to toss it in the trash. She felt dizzy. She decided to just lay back down on the couch for a few more minutes until the dizziness passed.

to be continued...


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

After dinner, the whole family descended on the living room. Crane marvelled as he looked around the room. Everyone seemed so much happier than he'd seen them in quite a while. He had noticed though, that Daniel seemed a little unsettled since taking that phone call. He wondered what had transpired during the kids' conversation with Allison. Finally, he spoke, "Hey Daniel, you want to work on a tune?"

"I don't have my guitar with me." Daniel replied.

"Hey, that's no excuse, we got plenty of guitars around here." Brian interjected.  
"That's right" Hannah added. "We wanna hear something."

"I haven't worked on anything new lately." Daniel said.

That was a first Adam thought as he sat quietly enjoying his familys' banter. Daniel was a one man music factory. He was constantly finding new melodies. He and Crane would write words to three or four songs a night, sometimes. Daniel never went _anywhere_ without that guitar strapped to his back. Roundups, the County fair, even quick trips to the feed store. It was his constant companion. This gave Adam pause to worry more about what was going on in his little brothers life. That girl had managed in just over two weeks to completely turn that kid around one hundred eighty degrees...and not a turn in the right direction either. Adam wished he could figure out what to say to help Daniel out of his predicament. He knew the girl had been through a lot. He was not without compassion for her. He just didn't understand why she felt like Daniel was responsible for her. There was an important piece missing to the puzzle. Adam was sure of it. She was a pretty smart girl as he'd remembered it. She couldn't be so blind as not to see that she was coming on too strong, could she? It just didn't make sense to Adam.

"I guess we could do a couple of old tunes." Crane offered. "What do you guys wanna hear?" He looked around the room as he lifted his guitar from its' resting place along the wall.

"How about It's Not A Bad Dream?" Guthrie called out. That's my favorite one.

"Sure, I like that one too. Evan can I borrow your guitar?" Daniel asked. Evan got up and retrieved his guitar from his room and brought it down for Daniel. "You gonna help us out with your harmonica Bri?" Daniel looked over at Brian with a grin.

"Sure thing Dan'l." Brian answered as he pulled his old harmonica out of his pocket.  
The whole family sat and listed to Crane and Daniel croon the beautiful song.

Hannah thought nothing could be better than this night. She was getting lost in the music. Everyone took turns singing. She and Ford were in the middle of a song together and Crane was accompanying them on the piano now when once again, Hannah noticed Daniel watching the clock again. She knew the good time was coming to an end.

"Hey Crane?" Daniel began as soon as Crane finished the last couple of notes on the piano. "Think you could give me a ride back to Allison's place? I promised her I'd be back by nine."

"So you're going back?" Adam asked hesitantly.

"Oh well, I meant to check with you Adam. I mean...my stuff is still there and...well I need...I need to talk to her. Remember?" Daniel was once again stumbling over his words, anxious and nervous.

Adam studied him for a moment, then replied "Sure Danny, I remember. I hope it all goes well...and I hope you will be moving back home tomorrow. We sure do miss you."  
"Yep, we sure do!" Guthrie threw in. "I'll even let you have your bed back!" He added.

"Thanks Guth. I was afraid I'd lost it to you forever." Daniel grinned at his baby brother.  
"Nah" Guthrie replied, "Crane snores louder than Brian anyways."

"I do not!" Crane cried.

"Sell that song to somebody who hasn't shared a room with you their whole life" Daniel said jokingly. "Well, I guess I'll see you all soon. Hopefully tomorrow sometime."

"You sure you don't wanna just take the truck?" Adam asked, hoping Daniel would agree to it. He hated manipulating him. But he felt that if he drove there, he'd be more likely to come home tomorrow, since he'd have to return the truck before Monday rolled around.

"Nah, I'd better just let Crane here drive me. If I need a ride tomorrow, I'll call." Daniel replied. He got up and gave them all quick hugs and then followed Crane out the door.

They climbed in the jeep and began their twenty minute ride back to Allison's. Daniel was quiet again, Crane noticed. He couldn't help but feel bad for him. It was easy for Crane to see that Daniel was just as nervous and worked up about talking to Allison now as he'd been about talking to Adam earlier today. The kid must have felt like he'd been stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Crane broke the silence by asking "You gonna be ok, kid?"

"Oh sure. I just have to deal with this. I'm just trying to think of what I'm gonna say to her. It's not as hard for me now that I'm seeing it all more clearly. I don't know how I let things get so twisted, Crane." Daniel answered.

"Women are good at twisting us up in knots. Haven't any of your big brothers ever told you that before?" Crane laughed.

"Oh, I know they do. I just can't help but feel like I'm missing something here. I keep going over it in my head and I don't understand why she and I are on two different pages. I've retraced my steps over and over again in my head and I don't remember doing anything to encourage the girl to think we were so serious." Daniel explained.

"Well, as long as your honest with her now and I mean tonight. Don't let this thing go any longer Danny. She needs to hear it from you and you need to be crystal clear with her. No matter how much she cries. Just remember she's a girl. Girls cry, it's just what they do." Crane lectured, hoping his words were coming in loud and clear.

"Yeah, I know Crane. I'll talk it all out with her tonight, I promise." Daniel replied with a long sigh.

to be continued...


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Daniel thanked Crane for the ride and waived goodbye as he watched him pull away. He walked quietly to the door and let himself in. Allison was on the couch asleep. He made his way to the kitchen and got a beer out of the refrigerator then made his way over to the couch and sat down next to her feet. He noticed that she looked a little pale and thought it odd that her purse was laying on the floor, open. She always seemed so guarded about that stupid purse. It had made him wonder what was so private about it's contents. His gaze settled on the round plastic dial with numbers on it. _Birth control_ he thought to himself. Then he saw something totally unfamiliar to him. Two prescription bottles with Allisons' name on it. The bottles were different than what he was used to seeing from their local pharmacy. He picked one up. He didn't recognize the doctor's name. The physician contact number had a Boston area code. The pharmacy had a Boston address. Why didn't he know that Allison was taking medication? He read the usage directions. Take one by mouth daily for depression. He quickly picked up the second bottle. Take one tablet by mouth at bedtime to aid sleep. _Sleeping pills and antidepressants?_ Why wouldn't she tell me she was on medicine? He leaned over to wake Allison. A third bottle rolled off the couch where it had been laying beside her. He recognized the name of this medication. _Valium!_ The directions indicated to take one every eight hours as needed for anxiety. Daniel didn't understand what he was looking at. He'd been around her constantly for the last two and a half weeks and he'd not once seen her taking any medication. Daniel's mind flashed back to the telephone conversation he'd had a few hours earlier with Allison. Fear coursed through Daniel as he began to piece it all together.

"Allison, wake up! Allison!" The girl didn't move. Panic began to rise in Daniel and he grabbed her by both shoulders and began to lightly shake her. He called her name again. "Allison, wake up honey, please wake up!" He pleaded. She still didn't move. He reached out with a shaking hand and grabbed her wrist and felt for a pulse. He found it, but he thought it felt faint. He lowered his ear to her heart and at the same time put his hand in front of her mouth. He could hear a heartbeat and he could feel her breath. _Thank God!_ s But Daniel knew something was very wrong and he needed to get help now. He ran over to the phone and called the emergency number. He begged the dispatcher for an ambulance as he quickly gave them the address.

"Please hurry" He pleaded. "I think my friend has overdosed on prescription medication! I can't wake her up. Please, I need help!" Daniel tried to keep his voice calm so that the lady on the phone could understand him. She started asking questions. He didn't have any answers. He was fast becoming hysterical.  
"Please sir, I need you to calm down so that I can help you. Can you tell if she's breathing?" the dispatcher asked him calmly.

"Yes, she is but she won't wake up and she's really pale." Daniel tried his best to keep his panic at bay.

"Do you know what she took?" the dispatcher continued.

"I'm not sure. I found some medicine bottles here next to her." He proceeded to read the names of the ones he could pronounce and spelled the names of the one he couldn't.  
"Sir, has she been depressed or threatened to harm herself recently?" asked the dispatcher.

"No. I mean, not to me. I didn't know she was taking medicine. Can you please send me some help here?" Daniel begged.

"Sir, stay calm. Help is already in route. The ambulance as well as a deputy sheriff should be there any minute now. She replied.

No sooner than she'd spoken the words, Daniel heard sirens in the distance. He turned back to Allison. "Hold on Ally. I've got you some help, so you just hold on ok, sweetie?" Daniel was crying now.

The door opened. I'm officer Wilson, what's going on here?" a deputy said, entering the room. He looked at the young man kneeling next to the couch and immediately recognized it to be Daniel McFadden. Then he studied the girl and realized it was Jim Frelings daughter, Allison.  
"Wilson, Oh God she needs help, man!" Daniel cried out. "Where's the damned ambulance?"

"Calm down Daniel, they will be here in about two minutes. Luckily they were just down the road from here when dispatch called it in." Wilson replied, as he knelt down himself to check Allison's pulse.

"What happened? Did she do it on purpose?" Wilson asked Daniel.

"I dunno. I don't think so. I mean...she didn't take them all. There's still a bunch left in the bottles. I talked to her a few hours ago...wait, she told me...she told me she'd had a beer. I thought she was drunk or something. I didn't know anything about this medicine until I found her here with it a few minutes ago. Oh God, why didn't she say anything?" Daniel cried.

Wilson got busy, checking through her purse. He retrieved all the bottles then looked around the cabin. "We need to make sure this is everything. The paramedics need all of it." Wilson explained as he walked into the bedroom and then the bathroom looking to see if there were any more medication bottles.

The ambulance pulled up then and two paramedics came through the door. They had a gurney and all kinds of equipment and immediately went to work checking Allison over.

Wilson came back out and handed them the three bottles of medication and the birth control. "It looks like this is everything. We think she had some beer too." He walked over to the kitchen and looked in the garbage. "Daniel," He began. "There's two beer cans in the trash. Did you put any cans in here yourself?"

Daniel thought for a minute. "No" he replied, "Wait! I think one is from earlier today. Crane had a beer with me. I think...I think he threw it away before we left." Daniel was trying his best to remember for sure. "Yeah" He continued. "I remember Crane threw one in the trash."

"Ok thanks." Wilson replied then advised the paramedics to tell the doctors that from his investigation, he could only verify that she had consumed one can of beer.

The paramedics had loaded her onto the gurney after starting an IV and hurried out the door to the waiting ambulance. "Can I ride with her?" Daniel asked. "Are you related?" the female paramedic asked.  
"Well, no. She doesn't have any family. I'm a friend." Daniel answered her honestly.

"I'm sorry son. I'm afraid it's against our policy." She replied.

"Come on Daniel. I'll give you a ride." Wilson told are taking her to County. Did you want to call your family?" He asked.

"I don't know. Not right now I guess. Just take me to the hospital, please?" Daniel begged.

"Let's go then. Wilson replied.

to be continued...


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The trip to the hospital in the county cruiser was agony for Daniel. His mind swirled as he tried to make sense of what was happening. What had Allison done? Had she tried to hurt herself on purpose? Was he responsible for this? Why hadn't she told him she was on medication? He couldn't help but think about his own parents' deaths. That had been devastating for all seven McFadden boys, but it had been especially hard on Daniel. Even though he was only a child, not quite nine years old, he had felt solely responsible for their deaths and had become very depressed. He could remember not being able to sleep at night...the horrible nightmares, the panic attacks...the burden of guilt had been almost more than he could bare. He'd had fits of rage and had gotten into many fights at school. He'd felt mad at the world. Finally, Adam had taken him to a psychiatrist. He went through many months of counseling to help him with his grief and guilt. His brothers had all been very supportive, but looking back he now realized that his older brothers had been very worried about his welfare. The same worry Daniel now felt for Allison. The memory of that horrible time, even now, a little over ten years later, made him cringe. He of all people could understand that such a loss was devastating to anybody and considering that Allison was an only child with no other family to speak of, he could more than understand how frightening and devastating that would be...for anyone. On top of that, to actually have been the one to find her fathers' body in such a horrible state...He couldn't even imagine how horrific that must have been for her. For Daniel, finding out now that she'd needed professional help, to him at least, made her seem more...well, human. He'd found it a bit odd that she'd seemed to be doing so well all this time, given all the circumstances. He wondered if she had hid it from him out of shame. If that was the case, then he surmized that she didn't really know him at all. She had gotten him _all _wrong.

Deputy Wilson pulled the cruiser into the emergency entrance and parked. He then asked Daniel, "Son, are you gonna be ok? You sure you don't want me to at least call Adam?"

"No, I just need to find out how she is. No need to bother my family just now." Daniel replied as he stepped out of the car.

"Ok, well I have to go in and wait for word from the doctor anyway, so I guess I can keep you company. Just try to stay calm. The doctors here are great and I know they'll do everything they can for her." Wilson said as he walked around the car and put a reassuring hand on Daniels' shoulder.

The waiting room was pretty quiet. Not many people around. Wilson pointed to a seat and suggested that Daniel sit down while he talked to admissions to let them know that he was the investigating officer in Allison's case and would need to speak with the doctor. Daniel took the seat and waited for news. An hour passed before an older doctor came out to greet the deputy. "I'm Dr. Simpson. I'm in charge of Allison Freling's care. Wilson introduced himself then introdued Daniel and indicated that he was Ms. Frelings' boyfriend and had been the one to find her.

"Mr. McFadden, can you give me emergency contact information for Ms. Freling? Her parents' phone number perhaps?"

"No sir...I mean, her parents are dead. She has no living relatives. She's alone. I guess I'm all she's got. Can you tell me how she's doing?" Daniel asked nervously. He was trying to keep his mind from drifting on to worst case scenario's as he tried to read the doctors' eyes, hoping for some reassurance.

"Son, she is in good hands. We have her stablized and she is resting comfortably now. I've made some calls to her physician in Boston and I'm waiting for him to call me to consult on her case. Hopefully, he will be able to give me a complete history. The medications that he prescribed are very dangerous if the patient is not compliant with taking them exactly as directed. The doctor explained.

"Dr. Simpson, is she going to be alright?" Daniel asked.

"I believe so. Fortunately, you got her here in time. I expect her to make a full recovery." The doctor smiled and patted Daniel on the shoulder.

"Thank you, thank you so much for helping her. Doc? I'm not sure what happened. Do you think she did this on purpose?" Daniel asked timidly.

"Son, I have to be very careful answering your questions. You are not a family member and this patient is of legal age. I'm afraid you are going to have to save a lot of these questions for her, when she is up to it. What I can tell you is that my assesment, which I'm basing on Deputy Wilson's investigation and the results of her labwork, is that Ms. Freling accidentally overmedicated herself. Taking into consideration the amount of medication she had on hand, if she'd purposely tried to harm herself, she would have likely taken more...but, as I said before, I need to talk her physician in Boston to get her history before I can rule that out completely. I need to know exactly what he was treating her for. Do you know what he was treating her for? Has she been depressed or suicidal? Dr. Simpson asked.

Daniel told the doctor about Allison's father...the bankruptcy, the move and the suicide. He explained that he had no idea that she was being treated and had no knowledge of the medication and furthermore, had never seen her take it. He also voiced his concerns regarding her erratic behavior over the last couple of weeks.

"Son, the combination of medications she was prescribed, in my opinion, could have caused the change in her behavior. I personally have reason to believe that a couple of those medications should not be prescribed together, so I will have to find out her physicians' reasons for prescribing them and at those doses. However, I suspect that she took them as prescribed for a couple of weeks, but judging by the date of the prescriptions, the number of pills left in the bottle and the amount of medication in her system tonight, I would say that, for whatever reason, she stopped at some point. That would cause her to quickly have a change in mood and mental status. Dr Simpson quietly explained.

"Is she awake? Can I see her? Doc, she was upset with me and I...I just have to find out if I somehow caused this! I need to know if she took the medicine because I upset her. Please let me talk to her." Daniel begged.

"Son, I understand you are worried and upset, but she is asleep and likely won't be up for any company before tomorrow or the day after. After she does wake up and I speak to her, I will let her know that you would like to see her. Why don't you leave contact information at the desk and I will be sure to call you after I've spoken with her and let you know if she agrees to see you." Dr. Simpson offered.

"I don't want to leave her here alone. I'll just wait here until she wakes up..." Daniel began but the doctor interrupted.

"Mr. McFadden, I can assure you that she will be sleeping through the night. Now, I can't force you to leave, but I see no point in your spending the night in the waiting room. If you'd like you can check on her tomorrow. If she is up to having visitors and feels like talking to you, then by all means we will let you visit at that time. Otherwise I will instruct the nurses to contact you if her condition changes, so be sure and leave us your contact information." The doctor could see how dejected Daniel looked.

"Son, try not to worry. We will take very good care of her. I know you feel responsible, but unless you forced the medication and alcohol down her throat, then you need not blame yourself. Things like this happen fairly often with patients on this type of treatment. That's why they have to be very closely monitored. If she has been in town for two and a half weeks now, then she should have been followed up locally by a physician before now." Dr. Simpson explained.

"Thank you Sir. I appreciate everything you've done for Allison and thank you for talking to me." Daniel reached out and shook the doctors' hand.

"Daniel, why don't you give your information to the receptionist and wait here for me while I speak with Dr. Simpson alone for a moment." Wilson said. Daniel observed the doctor point to a small room behind the receptionists' desk.

"Ok, I'll be here." Daniel replied as the two men stepped inside the room and shut the door.

"Shall I drop you off at Allison's cabin or would you like me to take me out to the ranch?" Wilson asked Daniel after they'd left the hospital and got back into Wilson's cruiser.

Daniel thought for a minute. He didn't know what he wanted to do. He was so tired and he was starting to feel sick at his stomach for what seemed like the _umpteenth_ time today. Wilson could tell the kid was confused and didn't have an answer for him. "Tell you what, I'll just take you out to the ranch. There's no need in you being alone all night, what with all you've been through. That sound alright with you?" Daniel didn't know. Nothing sounded good at this point.

"Whatever...I guess so." Daniel answered absently. His mind was going in a million different directions.

The house was dark and quiet. Daniel slipped in the front door. He looked over and saw Brian and Guthrie asleep on the fold out. He slipped quietly up the stairs to his and Crane's bedroom. He shut the door behind him. "Crane, are you awake?" Although Crane wasn't snoring, he didn't answer Daniel's call. Daniel sat down on the bed and began taking off his boots.

Crane heard a noise that startled him. He hadn't expected anyone to be in his room. "Who's there?" He called out.

"Sorry buddy, it's just me. I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm gonna stay here tonight. We can talk in the morning." Daniel answered.

"Danny? No, it's ok. What's going on? Thought you were gonna stay at Allison's and talk tonight! You didn't back out, did you? Crane implored. Worried that Daniel had put off for another day what needed to be handled..._now!_ When Daniel didn't answer, Crane got up and flipped on the light. "Hey, what's going on? Talk to me Daniel." Crane said, casting a worried look over at his little brother. He could tell the kid was shaken up. "Come on, spill...Did she cry again?"

"God Crane...stop. Just stop...I can't...I can't handle this!" Daniel suddenly sank to the floor and leaned against his bedframe. He put his head in his hands and began to sob." Crane dropped down on the floor in front of Daniel and put his arms around him. He began to rock him as though he were a small child.

"Hey, shh. Stop it kid. Please, talk to me. I'm right here. Just talk buddy. Daniel, come on look at me, huh? What's all this." Daniel continued to fall apart right there in front of Crane. He couldn't speak. Crane felt his little brother start to shake and he tightened his embrace. "Shh, it's ok. I gotcha buddy. I gotcha. Just try to relax. Calm down."

After what seemed like an eternity, Daniel began to take slower, deeper breaths. He reached up and wiped his eyes, straightened up, leaned his head against the mattress and began to stare at the ceiling. Then finally offered "Crane, I'm so scared. God...it's bad. It's really bad. I don't know what to do!"  
"Tell me what happened." Crane demanded

"Allison's in the hospital." Daniel answered.

"What? What the hell happened over there? Tell me y'all didn't fight!" Crane was getting really scared at this point.  
"No. Crane, she overdosed." Daniel whispered.

"Oh my God! What did she take? Is she...I mean, she's ok right?" Crane asked. He could feel a knot in the pit of his stomach.

"The doctor said she's gonna be ok. I have to wait until she wakes up and tells them I can see her. I'm not a blood relative, so I'm not sure if the doctor is telling me everything. I can only hope he was on the level with me." Daniel answered.

"Danny, are you suggesting that she tried to take her own life because she didn't know where you were for a couple of hours? She's really _sick!"_ Crane said to Daniel, then thought to himself, _this girl needs serious help. She's lost it!_

"They think it was accidental...She just took too much of her medicine." Daniel offered.

"What medicine?" Crane was lost again.

"Crane, I think I know why she's been acting so strange. She's on medication for anxitey, insomnia and depression. Apparently she was already on them before she moved home from Boston. Only, I think she quit taking them when she got home...Not sure why, maybe she was ashamed? I don't know. But, the doctor said that not taking them as prescribed after being on them for a while would cause her behavior...ya know, her mood to change. I haven't seen her take any medicine this last couple weeks, so...I think that's why she's been acting so...so..." Daniel's voice trailed off.

"Crazed?" Crane asked.

"Crane, don't talk about her like that. Her dad blew his head off and she's the one that found him. God, how could I think anybody would be ok after that? I feel like an idiot." Daniel said sounding miserable.

"Sorry, I wasn't being ugly... honest. I mean, it's just...well it's starting to fall into place. Starting to make a little sense you know?"

"It's starting to make perfect sense." Daniel echoed. "I don't know if she's gonna get through this." Daniel said.

"She will, she will." Crane offered, hoping to convince Daniel.

"Crane...I've been there. I _know_ how it is. I mean...the depression, the guilt, the nightmares." Daniel said, still staring at the same spot on the ceiling.

Crane swallowed hard. He was trying to keep the lump from forming in his throat. Yes, Daniel had _been there._. Crane remembered all too well that shell of a kid he shared his room with ten years back. He'd witnessed first hand the nightmares, the panic attacks, the anger, the fear. It had been torture for Crane to see his little brother go through it. A sudden chill rushed through Crane's body and he couldn't fight the impulse to reach out and grab Daniel.

"Come here" Crane said as he gathered his little brother up in his arms again and began rocking him. He wanted so bad to take this pain away from Daniel if only he stayed there like that on the floor for a long time...

to be continued...


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Crane wasn't sure how long he'd held on to Daniel. He had finally felt all the fight drain from the kid and after much prompting, had talked him into going to bed. Now, Crane sat over him, watching him sleep. He had seemed to drift off pretty quickly and Crane tried himself to go back to sleep. But that's when the nightmares started. Daniel had been thrashing about in his bed, mumbling in his sleep. Crane had rushed over to wake him a couple of times before he'd abandoned all notions of getting any more sleep himself. He had instead spent the rest of the night sitting beside Daniel's bed, watching him sleep. He'd finally settled down and seemed to rest, Crane observed. As dawn broke, Crane decided to get up and get some coffee. He eased out of the room and crept downstairs. He immediately heard voices coming from the kitchen.

As he entered the kitchen, he smelled the coffee and discovered Adam and Brian, already seated at the table, having a cup. "Morning," Crane offered as he stepped over to the coffee pot and poured a cup for himself then took a seat next to Brian.  
"You look like hell, little bro" Brian observed.

"Thanks. You two are up awfully early aren't you? It's Sunday." Craned observed.

"We thought we'd get up and get a jump on the chores. We're hoping Daniel comes home today and if everything is caught up, maybe we can all get some quality time with him later this evening." Adam replied.

"I like the idea, but...I don't think it's gonna happen." Crane said, sounding dejected.  
"Whatcha talking about?" Brian asked as he studied his brother carefully.

"Daniel's upstairs sleeping...finally. He came home last night. Allison's in the hospital. She overdosed on prescription medications. He's really upset. I think he feels responsible for it." Crane explained.

"Good God? What is going on with that girl? Is she trying to destroy that kid? He's done nothing but help her ever since she came back here!" Adam snapped, becoming livid as he finished the sentence.

"How is she?" Brian inquired.

"Supposedly she's gonna be ok. Danny got help for her in time." Crane answered. He filled his brothers in on what all Daniel had shared with him. How Allison must have had a hard time after her father's suicide. She had apparently needed treatment but had walked away from it to come back here. He'd surmized that her lack of therapy had caused her to behave so irrationally.

"Well, she's gonna have to get some real help now. I just want Danny to get away from the whole mess. He doesn't need this kind of trouble." Adam stated.

"I know. It's kind of stirred up the past for Daniel I'm afraid. I sat up with him all night. He had a couple of nightmares." Crane explained.

"That's just great. You think he's gonna be ok Crane?" Brian asked, concern written all over is face.

"I really couldn't say. I hope so. At least he's got some clarity about the whole situation now. Think it'll help him with his guilt to know that the problems are in her head. I think he's is starting to realize now that he didn't do anything wrong. I'm hoping so, at least." Crane offered.

"Well, we are just gonna have to take things one step at a time, I suppose." Adam said as he rose from the table. "I think I'll look in on him."

"Ok Adam. Let us know if you need us." Brian called after him.

Adam raised his hand to let Brian know he'd heard him as he walked through the living room and up the stairs. He slowly opened the door to his little brothers' bedroom and observed Daniel. He looked tired Adam thought to himself. He seemed to be resting, though. Adam walked over and pulled the blinds down, hoping to darken the room so the morning sunshine wouldn't disturb the boy. He knew that Daniel was going to need his rest.

Adam eased back out of the room and walked down the hallway to his own bedroom. He knew Hannah would be up any minute and he wanted to fill her in on everything in private.

Later, with the family all gathering for breakfast, Brian and Crane had decided to pull Evan and Ford aside and fill them in on what had happened the night before. They figured the two were mature enough to handle it and it was better for Daniel if he weren't asked a lot of questions. Meanwhile, Adam had a talk with Guthrie. He wanted the kid to know that Daniel was home and that he didn't want anyone asking him a bunch of questions. He'd explained to Guthrie that Daniel was worried about Allison and didn't need to be asked a lot of nosy questions. Adam had been surprised at how Guthrie had seemed to understand the situation immediately, even without the benefit of the whole story.

"She's messed up, huh Adam? I mean, she must be scared with her dad dying and all. I guess I'd be scared too, if I didn't have anybody to take care of me" Guthrie offered.  
_God, this kid is so smart!_ Adam thought to himself. Guthrie often surprised his big brothers by being wise beyond his years.

"Yeah, I guess we all would be Guth." Adam replied as he mussed his little brothers hair.

The family was just finishing up breakfast when a tired, worried looking Daniel walked into the dining room. He looked around at everyone. He hoped he wouldn't have to answer a lot of questions. "Morning y'all." He greeted them as he headed for the coffee pot and poured himself a pot then made his way to his to the table and sat down.

"Morning sweetie. Here, I saved you a plate." Hannah said as she passed a plate of food down to Ford who handed it to Daniel.

"Thanks Hannah. Daniel replied. He figured Crane must have filled them all in. Daniel was releived to know he wouldn't be hit with a lot of questions. He wasn't ready for that kind of onslaught right now. "Have I had any calls yet?" Daniel turned to direct his question to Adam.

"No, we haven't had any calls this morning" Adam answered, studying his little brother. He looked wrung out and Adam was concerned about him.

"You doing ok?" Adam asked Daniel.

"Yeah. Just worried. The hospital is supposed to call me." Daniel offered, but not elaborating on the statement.  
"Ok, well guys, if anyone answers the phone today, be sure and let Daniel know if any calls come in for him." Adam instructed each of his brothers before any of them had a chance to leave the table, then added "Let's get the chores tended to so we can have the rest of the day free to do what we want." Adam continued. "Daniel, you eat your breakfast. The rest of us have got this." Adam put his hand around Daniel's neck and gave it a quick, supportive squeeze.

"Thanks Adam." Daniel replied.

to be continued...


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It was nearly time for lunch when the phone finally rang. Daniel had jumped up and answered it on the first ring. "Hello? Yes, this is he. Ok. Yes ma'am I see. Well, how is she? Is she going to be ok?" Daniel paused and listened to the nurse on the other end of the line. Alright, yes I understand. Ok, thank you very much. I really appreciate your calling me and thank Dr. Simpson for me, would you? Yes, tell her I'll see her later then. Bye."

Adam and Hannah watched and waited as Daniel hung up the phone then finally turned around to speak. "That was one of Allison's nurses. She woke up a little bit ago and talked with the doctor. He got a chance to talk to the doctor that prescribed her the medicine back in Boston so he knows now what her treatment was for. They can't tell me about it, but the nurse said that Allison agreed to see me tomorrow. The doctor is bringing in a psychiatrist to consult on her case. He'll see her later today. So, I guess I can find out from her what's going on tomorrow. God, I can't believe I have to wait another day, but I don't want to push her. If she needs time, I have to respect that." Daniel offered.

"Yes, I think that's very wise of you Daniel. This must be very hard for her. It's a lot to deal with and you are being a wonderful friend. She's a lucky girl to have such an understanding friend as you." Hannah told him as she stepped over to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

"Thanks Hannah. You're right about understanding her. I know how hard it is...I mean...losing someone you love so much and..." Daniel broke off his statement as he looked at Adam. Then he continued..."Well, I just know. I can really relate to her, I guess." Daniel looked down at the floor. Adam's scrutiny was making him nervous. He didn't want Adam to worry so much.

"Hey, if you need to talk Danny...about anything, I'm right here. Just say the word, I'll listen." Adam walked over and gave him a big long hug then whispered in Daniel's ear. "I love you Danny. I'm here for you." As Adam released his hold on Daniel he noticed a single tear drift down Daniel's cheek. Adam reached up and brushed it away from his brothers face, while at the same time choking back his own emotions.

"Thanks Adam. I know that. I'm ok really, so I don't want you to worry about me. It's not gonna be like before, I promise. I'm not a little boy anymore. I can handle this, honest." Daniel looked at Adam, his eyes pleading with him not to worry.

"Ok. You're right. You are a man now. You've proved that to me in the last twenty four hours and Danny, I'm so proud of you. I want you to know that." Adam said.

"Thanks Adam. I had a good role model. I love you big brother." Daniel reached up and patted Adam on the shoulder. "Thank you for always being here for me" He continued.

"Daniel, I'm here too if you need anything. I love you too" Hannah offered.

"Thanks Hannah, I love you too, sis." Daniel reached over and gave her a quick hug.

The family spent the rest of the day together. Hannah suggested making home made ice cream, but the guys insisted that there were plenty of baked goods available to take care of any sweet tooth. Instead, they all got out in the yard and played soccer with Guthrie. The kid was getting pretty good at it. He had a game tomorrow and had been begging them all to help him practice. Daniel still had a lot of worry on his mind but he thought how good it felt to have this kind of distraction. Spending time with his family was the best possible therapy to keep him from driving himself crazy, what with not being able to go see Allison for another whole day. The day passed pretty quickly. After supper, they'd even coaxed him to join in with the rest of them as they played music and sang. Music was the best medicine they could offer Daniel. It had been wonderful therapy for him when he was a child and had struggled so much with the death of their parents. The older brothers had been convinced that the reason Daniel had gotten so exceptionally good at music was because he'd buried himself in it from the time he was nine years old. They felt that music had actually saved him. It had been a respite to him during that whole terrible ordeal. They now thought music would be of comfort to him in this situation as well...and it seemed to be working. Daniel had relaxed a lot from the time when they'd eaten dinner. Now he was laughing and singing with his brothers. There was a bit of a spark back in the young mans eye. He would need this strength to carry him through his visit tomorrow with Allison.

Later that night in their room, Daniel sat on his bed fooling around with some guitar runs and humming softly while Crane sat across from him on his own bed and listened. He studied Daniel. He simply marvelled at how the worry lines that had been creasing Daniel's brow for days now seemd to soften, almost disappear. It seemed there was nothing or no one that could ease Daniel's pain the way music did.

"That's really nice Danny. I like it. Maybe you should get some sheet music out and start writing." Crane suggested.

"Nah, I don't much feel like it. I'm just goofing around, but thanks. I'm glad you like it. Daniel replied, then added "Hey Crane? I want you to stop worrying about me. I know I just seem like your kid brother and I know I can be childish sometimes but...I'm really gonna be ok. Honest. I know what I need to say to Allison and I know what she does and doesn't need now. I'm gonna be fine. I just really hope she's gonna be ok too." Daniel sighed.

"She will be. She's got you so she's a pretty lucky young lady I'd say." Crane smiled at Daniel, the pride he had in him showed brightly on his face.

to be continued...


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Monday morning, Daniel got up early and helped with chores, after breakfast, he told Adam that he was going over to County Hospital to see Allison. Adam gave him the keys to the jeep. "Want me to go along?" Adam asked.

"Nah, I'll be ok. Not sure how long it'll take though. I'm probably gonna go over and pick up my stuff at her cabin too. Most of my clothes are still there." Daniel explained.

"Ok, well we got things here so take all the time you need. Adam said, then added "Daniel, you call us if you need anything, you got me?"

"Sure, thanks _dad_" Daniel replied as he took the keys from Adam. He reached out and gave Adam a hug as Adam shot back: Don't call me dad!" Then he mussed the kids hair and waved goodbye.

When Daniel reached the hospital, he asked at the receptionists desk for Allison's room number then slowly made his way down the long hallway. He stopped at the nurses desk as the recepitonist had instructed him to do. The nurse told him he could go on in. He paused just outside her door and took a deep breath.

Allison was laying on the bed asleep. Daniel glanced around the room. He saw that there was a camera pointing toward the bed. He assumed that there was a monitor at the nurses desk, which was located just outside Allison's door. He walked over and quietly sat down beside her bed and watched her sleep. He didn't know exactly how long he sat there but he guessed it was about a half hour. When Allison woke up, she seemed nervous to see him sitting there.

"Hey sleepy head. How ya feeling?" Daniel asked softly.

"Hey Daniel. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I caused you. Can you ever forgive me?" She said pleadingly.

"There's nothing to forgive Ally. I understand. I wish you had told me the truth, though. I could've helped you more if I'd known about everything."

"I couldn't. After everything my dad put your family through last year, I just couldn't have you thinking I was just like him." She said with tears in her eyes.

"Allison, I don't think that. Firstly, I don't hold anything against your father. He made some mistakes. We all do. Secondly, I care about you. I would never judge you, you should know me better than that." Daniel explained.

"I guess I wasn't thinking clearly. I talked with Dr. Simpson and a new psychiatrist. They told me that I was on too much medication and also that I wasn't taking it properly. They feel like that is why I was so out of sorts. I told them all about you and me and how I'd treated you. They said that I had transferred my dependency on the medication over to a dependency on you. I'm so sorry for how I've been acting." Allison said as she took Daniel's hand and held it gently. She continued. "You've been so good to me and I've just been horrible to you. I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you."

"By getting the help you need. That's all I want from you. Ally, I never really told anybody outside my family about this, but I went through a really bad time when I lost my parents." Daniel said.

"You did?" Allison asked, surprised.

"Mmm hmm. See, I felt responsible for their deaths. I mean, I was the reason they were in that car that day. After the accident, I kept thinking that if it hadn't been for me, they would still be alive. I got really depressed Ally. I finally had to get help. I was in counselling for a long time. It really did me a lot of good. I mean, I was just a little kid, but I was pretty bad off for a while. Even though my brothers were there with me all the time, I still felt alone all the time. I used to isolate myself from them. I wouldn't talk to them about how I felt. It was really, really bad. Mad at the whole world...Ya know? Later, I felt really bad about all I put them through. So, believe me when I tell you I know how you feel." Daniel's voice was soft but full of pent up emotion.

"I had no idea Daniel. Thanks for telling me now. The doctors want me to get help too. They are working on getting me in a state funded clinic. I don't have any insurance, so they are filling out papers for me to get some financial assitance through the state." Allison explained. Then she looked into Daniel's eyes and continued. "It's an inpatient treatment facility. I have something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Once I check into the place, I don't know how long they will keep me in there. It will be up to my psychiatrist and the counselors on staff there. I'm scared to do it, but I'm even more afraid not to do it." Allison said.

"You need to get the help and if they are willing to help you get it, I don't think you have a choice. You have to do it. Allison listen to me, you have to learn to take care of yourself first. You can't have a relationship with me or anybody else until you've tended to your own needs. There's no shame in getting help. We all need help from time to time." Daniel leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

"It's in San Francisco. I won't be here in Murphys anymore." She explained.

"When will you go?" Daniel asked.

"Maybe tomorrow or the day after. I have no idea when I'll be back. It's going to be hard not being able to see you." Allison replied.

"Well, maybe they will let me visit. I'll save my money so I can come to San Francisco and visit." Daniel suggested.

"I don't think the doctor wants me to have any visitors, especially you, not for a while. He says I need to work on being independent. He says it will be harder for me to gain my independence if I keep seeing you. He's probably right, huh?" Allison asked.

"Yeah, probably so. Well, so long as you know that I will always be your friend and I will always be here for you. If you ever need anything, you are not alone in the world. We McFaddens would be honored to be your surrogate family. We are all pulling for you." Daniel smiled and wrinkled his nose at Allison.

"I know you're there for me and I appreciate it. I have a hard time believing your family feels that way. They must think I'm just awful. They probably hate me." Allison replied.

Nah. Honey, they understand too. They are just worried about you, the same way they were worried about me. I promise, nobody in my family hates you. Ok?" He squeezed Allison's hand to reassure her.

"Ok. Daniel? I told you that I love you...and I do. I just...I'm not sure that I love myself. I guess I have to learn to do that before I can _really_ love anyone else. Do you understand?" Allison asked.

"I do understand. I couldn't have said it better myself. I love you too and you will always be one of my best friends. I mean that. You just take care of yourself and get better." Daniel said with a tear sliding down his cheek. "If you ever need anything, you got my number."

"Thanks Daniel. You'll always be special to me. Thank you for everything. Tell your family that I'm very gratefull for all of their help too. Will you keep an eye on the cabin for me? I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I may keep it or sell it. I guess I'll see how things go with my treatment." Allison said.

"Sure, I'll take care of the place for you. You don't have to make any decisions about that stuff until you are ready. There's no hurry. You just take your time and get better." Daniel replied. Then squeezed her hand again. "So, I guess this is it? We won't see each other for a while. Can you write to me? I'd like you to let me know how things are going for you." He added.

"I can write to you. Maybe not at first, but once I start feeling better. I promise I will." Allison said, crying now herself.

"Ok good. Well, I guess I'd better let you rest now. I could come back tomorrow if you'd like." Daniel offered.

"No, I guess we'd better go ahead and say goodbye now. It will only get harder if we drag it out." Allison said. "You take care of yourself Daniel McFadden. You're the best person I've ever known. I hope you keep up with the music. I know you're gonna be a big star someday...and I'll be your number one fan!" Allison wiped the tear from his face and Daniel returned the favor by taking a tissue and drying the tears up from her face too.

"And I'll always be your number one fan Ally. Count on it!" Daniel pressed his lips to her forehead and planted a light, slow kiss there. "Goodbye sweetie and good luck." Daniel offered as he stood up and backed away from the bed.

"Goodbye Daniel. I will get better, I promise. You take care of yourself." Allison blew him a kiss from the bed as he backed away and finally, out the door.

Daniel made his way back down the long hallway and wondered to himself if she was right. He hoped it was true.

Epilogue to follow...


	18. Chapter 18

Epilogue

Daniel stepped off of the porch and into the bright sunlight. Summer was fading away and the first chill of fall was in the air. It had been three months since Allison Freling had exited his life for the second time...She had been institutionalized in San Francisco. After about three weeks, she had sent him a letter. She talked about her treatment and how well it was going. She had a new psychiatrist that she had really responded well too. It was a woman, Dr. Lyles. She went on and on about how easily she'd found it to talk to Dr. Lyles...especially about her feelings for Daniel. After the first letter, Daniel had received both a second and a third...with the latter one having just come in the mail last week. Allison was being released from the hospital soon...In fact, today was the day. She would ride the bus to Angel's Camp and Daniel would pick her up there and bring her back to her cabin. She needed to retrieve her things, then she would be driving her own car back to San Francisco. She had a job waiting for her there and she planned to continue seeing Dr. Lyles on an outpatient basis. Daniel had been so relieved to know that the girl seemed to be getting back on track.

Daniel drove the jeep into Angels Camp and waited for the bus. He didn't have to wait for long. The bus pulled up to the stop right on schedule. Allison was the second person to step off. She looked beautiful. Daniel marvelled at the change in her demeanor. She looked like the Allison he had fell for over a year earlier. He'd been really smitten with her for a while before he'd finally gotten the nerve up to talk to her. Since then, they'd been through a lot. Daniel surmized that any romance would have had a hard time surviving all of it. He didn't know how she felt about him now, but while he knew he wasn't _in love_ with her anymore, he'd always care for her deeply.

"Daniel! I missed you so much!" Allison jumped off the bus and bounced off the curb and into Daniel's arms. He picked her up, spun her around then placed her gently back on the sidewalk. "You look great!" she continued. "You are still the most handsome cowboy I've ever met." She gushed.

"Who me? Nah" Daniel blushed.

"Where's the guy with the big ego that I know and love? You know you are fine!" Allison laughed.

"Daniel had to laugh to at that. Ally, you look beautiful. I'm so glad to see you!" Daniel beamed.

Later, in the jeep, driving out to her cabin the two of them laughed and enjoyed light, playful conversation with each other. Daniel remembered why he'd been so crazy about her back then. When they pulled up to the cabin, Allison sighed.

"This isn't easy. I think I'm going to keep the place, though. It's like the only thing I have left of my family, really." She stated, obviously deep in thought.

"I think you should keep it. It's like, part of your heritage. Yes, you should definately keep it...and I'll look after it for you." Daniel offered.

"Help me pack?" Allison inquired.

"Sure thing" Daniel answered as they stepped into the cabin.

It took them about three hours to pack up the house and cover all the furniture. As they stepped out with the last of her things and placed them into her trunk, Allison turned to Daniel, a tear streaming down her face.

"What's the matter?" Daniel looked at her concerned.

"I still love you Daniel. I know you aren't in love with me, but I want to be honest with you. I'm gonna get on with my life, but I just thought it was important to tell you the whole truth." Allison looked into Daniel's big, beautiful eyes and thought she might get lost in them.

"Ally, I'm sorry there can't be more between us. I just have different dreams than you. It wouldn't be fair for me to lie to you. After all you've gone through, you need a fresh start. You don't need to try to hold on to the past. You're gonna be fine. I look at you now and I am sure of it." Daniel stroked her hair away from her face and pulled her into him for a long, comforting hug.

"I know Daniel. You're right. I will be fine. You'll be proud of me someday, watch and see." She replied as she ran her fingers through his thick, dark hair.

"I'm already proud of you darlin'. I'm so proud." Daniel kissed her on top of the head and she pulled back from him and got into her car. He shut the door for her and then spread his hand out onto the car's window. She reached up and mirrored his hand with hers from inside the car.

"Goodbye" Allison mouthed before turning to start the engine. Daniel stood in the driveway with his hands in his jacket pockets as he watched her pull out onto the roadway. He then turned and walked towards the jeep turning his collar up as he made his way to it. There was definately a chill in the air. Fall was just around the corner, Daniel thought as the sun sank low on the horizon. And Allison will be just fine...

The end...


End file.
